Furious at Being Called Crazies, Republicans Sue President

Boehner and Republicans

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Republicans who were angered to learn on Wednesday that the former I.R.S. official Lois Lerner had referred to them as “crazies” and “assholes” responded later in the day by voting to sue the President of the United States.

“Calling us crazy assholes is insulting, derogatory, and beneath contempt,” House Speaker John Boehner told reporters. “And now if you’ll excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I have to go sue Obama.”

Determined to burnish their reputation as extremely sane people who are not assholes at all, House Republicans in their lawsuit accuse the President of “coldly and arrogantly seizing power granted to him by the United States Constitution.”

The lawsuit alleges that “having signed 181 executive orders to date, Barack Obama seems intent on chasing the records of such notorious renegades as Dwight Eisenhower (484) and Theodore Roosevelt (1,081).”

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The Village is Hopping this Weekend!

This is a very busy weekend in Williamsville.  Each day there is a wonderful event planned for Island Park.  Come to share great times.  Meet your friends and neighbors at the park and have a great weekend.
On Friday ~

Concert in the park 2014This Friday, August 1st, there will be a concert in Island Park beginning at 7:00 PM. The concert features the Buffalo Niagara Concert Band and celebrates 200 years of peace and the village’s role in the War of 1812.

On Saturday ~

beer and bacon fest

Engineered Events is hosting its 3rd Annual Beer & Bacon Fest  and we’re helping support  Traci’s Hope & Team RWB!

BEER TASTING TICKET

BEER & BACON 5000 RACE

register-this-logo-2014-small

DATE: Saturday, August 2nd 2014

LOCATION:5565 Main Street,  Island Park Williamsville, NY 14221

WHAT’S NEW FOR 2014 :

  • The 1st Beer & Bacon 5000 (5K Race) INFO & REGISTRATION HERE
  • 2 Beer Tasting Sessions
  • Extended hours with Draft Beer & Cider Sold Separately!

General Admission: $5.00 at the door.

Craft Beer Tasting:$30 Online Pre-sale / $40 at the door.

  • 1st Session: 12:00 pm to 4:00pm
  • 2nd Session: 5:00 pm to 8:00 pm

INFO:

  • General Admission Tickets Sold at Entrance for $5.00 (Access to Park & Bacon Tastings!)
  • Craft Beer Tasting: Patrons who purchase a ticket to access Craft Beer Tasting Tent will enjoy sampling  craft beer from Local & Regional Brewers with access up to 20 beer tastings, and compete in trivia, receive a souvenir wristband & beer vessel .

Please bring plenty of U.S. dollar bills to taste all the different BACON dishes!

Restaurants & Vendors will compete for Best Bacon Creations!

LIVE MUSIC: 2 BANDS 

12:00 – 4:00pm : Million Dollar Trio (Geno McManus)

5:00 – 9:00pm : Strictly Hip

DJ TRIVIA: Formulate a team and compete for prizes!

PARKING: Available throughout the Village of Williamsville.

BREWER LIST : Saranac, McKenzies Hard Cider, Hamburg, Community Beer Works, Resurgence, Gordon Biersch, Flying Monkeys, Old First Ward, Southern Tier, Ithaca, CB Craft Brewing, Pearl Street!

Tickets & Info at www.BeerBaconFest.com

***Event scheduled for RAIN OR SHINE, we have a massive beer tent & pavilions***

Finally on Sunday there is the Taste of Williamsville.  YUM!

Taste of Wlvle_2013 Logo FC

 

One Huge Tent – rain or shine!

** Bring canned goods to support the Food Bank of Western NY **


This Year’s Menu


Music 

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Re-ENERGIZE Buffalo

 

All things GREEN: Energy, Environment, and Economy

UPCOMING EVENTS: (Web LINKS to Events are in the right sidebar at Re-ENERGIZEBuffalo - Click Here)

  • THURSDAY, July 31, PARK PARTY: FUN-Raiser with the WNY Worker Center; Live music by Five to One, Local craft beers, Grilled corn and burgers; 5pm-9pm, LaSalle Park, Buffalo; Donation $20 suggested or what you can afford
  • MONDAY, August 4, PRESENTATION: ‘Steel Sun’ – a 13,000 solar panel project at former steel mill site, by Fred Heinle, Lackawanna’s Director of Development; host Sierra Club Climate and Clean Energy Writers Group, 6pm-7:30pm, Unitarian Church, Elmwood and Ferry, Buffalo
  • TUESDAY, August 5, SCREENING: Film – “The 11th Hour” – The Threat of Climate Change, host Clean Air Coalition of WNY, 6:00pm, Brighton Place Library, 999 Brighton Road, Tonawanda
  • WEDNESDAY, August 6,  CELEBRATION & SCREENING: FILM: “If Our Water Could Talk” – host Buffalo Niagara Riverkeeper, 7:30pm-9pm with screening at 8:15pm, Canalside, 44 Prime St., Buffalo

~ David Kowalski
Re-ENERGIZE Buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clean Energy NOW!

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Andy’s Point of View

Andy Borowitz

Reportedly, former IRS official Lois Lerner referred to Republicans as “crazies” and “assholes.” It’s a weird feeling to suddenly like the IRS.

Republicans Drop Lawsuit After Obama Calls It a Good Idea

By signing 182 executive orders, Barack Obama seems intent on chasing the records of such notorious renegades as Dwight David Eisenhower (484) and Theodore Roosevelt (1,081).

Obama Regrets Not Reaching Out to People Who Pledged to Make Him Fail
WASHINGTON – President Obama said today that the “biggest regret” of his Presidency was not reaching out to members of Congress who publicly pledged to make him fail. “When Mitch McConnell said that his number one priority was to make sure that I was a one-term President, that was a sign that he wanted me to reach out more,” Mr. Obama said. “I’m still kicking myself about that.” Similarly, the President said that House Republicans’ dozens of votes to repeal Obamacare were “clearly their way of saying, Mr. President, reach out to us. Once again, I messed up.” The President said that he sees the current efforts by the congressional G.O.P. to sue and impeach him as the clearest signal to date that they would like him to reach out. “I just hope I’m not too late,” he said. “If I am, I have only myself to blame.”
Photo: Obama Regrets Not Reaching Out to People Who Pledged to Make Him FailWASHINGTON – President Obama said today that the “biggest regret” of his Presidency was not reaching out to members of Congress who publicly pledged to make him fail. “When Mitch McConnell said that his number one priority was to make sure that I was a one-term President, that was a sign that he wanted me to reach out more,” Mr. Obama said. “I’m still kicking myself about that.” Similarly, the President said that House Republicans’ dozens of votes to repeal Obamacare were “clearly their way of saying, Mr. President, reach out to us. Once again, I messed up.” The President said that he sees the current efforts by the congressional G.O.P. to sue and impeach him as the clearest signal to date that they would like him to reach out. “I just hope I’m not too late,” he said. “If I am, I have only myself to blame.”

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Boehner Files Restraining Order Against Obama

Capital with crime scene tape
by Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON – The legal wrangling between Congress and the White House grew nastier today as House Speaker John Boehner filed a restraining order against President Obama. The restraining order is believed to be the first of its kind ever filed against a sitting President and would prevent Mr. Obama from entering the U.S. Capitol building, even for his State of the Union address. At the Capitol, Boehner denied that his latest move was a political stunt, telling reporters, “We want to work with President Obama, but we want him to stay one hundred feet away from us.”

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New FAA Rules Class Toy UAVs As Illegal Drones

The latest FAA rules on UAVs are so broad that they class adorable toy quadcopters as drones and require special permits to operate them. Meanwhile, hot air balloons and unpiloted model aircraft are fair game for unlicensed play. The drone hobbyists are pissed:

Up to now, the FAA has been distinguishing model aircraft from small drones (or small unmanned aerial systems, to use the FAA’s preferred terminology) according to whether they are flown for recreation or for commercial purposes. If you want to fly a 20-kilogram, turbine-powered radio-controlled model airplane, go right ahead, so long as you only do it as a hobby. Fly a 2-kilogram electric foamy for compensation, and you’re breaking the rules against commercial drone use, though. That was the basic argument the FAA had made against Raphael Pirker, who was issued with a $10,000 fine for flying a model airplane for hire in 2011.

Pirker contested the fine and prevailed in court this past March. Administrative Law Judge Patrick G. Geraghty held in Pirker’s favor, pointing out that the logical extension of the FAA’s arguments about what defines a regulated aircraft would extend to something as small as a paper airplane or balsa-wood glider. The FAA has appealed that decision, which has yet to be taken up by the full National Transportation Safety Board.

In the meantime, the FAA’s small-drone-policing empire is striking back. This week’s FAA notice not only reiterates the FAA’s position that the definition of “model aircraft” requires that the flying be only for recreation, the agency now asserts that the operator must be looking directly at the model in flight, not piloting it with video goggles or other other high-tech vision aids. By logical extension, that must mean that flying a video-camera-equipped model airplane or ‘copter using, say, an iPad screen or a video monitor of any type makes it no longer fit the FAA’s definition of a model aircraft.

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VA Funding Bill

US Dept Of Veterans Affairs

Congress needs to understand that the cost of war goes beyond bullets and bombs and includes caring for the physical and mental health care of those THEY choose to send to war.

Pat Welch, a Vietnam veteran and outspoken advocate for Western New York veterans, said changing that culture in the VA, will make a difference.

“There is a systemic cultural issue within the VA that has to be rooted out, and they have to understand that the only reason they have a job is because of those people who served this country.”

Welch believes the Buffalo VA Medical Center is one of the best in the country, but he is adamant about VA staffers and executives giving veterans the best care possible.

“If they don’t like the working conditions, and they don’t like to work with veterans, they can get the hell out.”

The biggest enemy for military veterans waiting for medical care now, is time. The bill announced on Monday still faces at least three separate votes, and lawmakers are set to start their summer break, later this week.
Read more…

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Putin Holds Emergency Meeting of Imaginary Friends

Russian President Vladimir Putin arrives for a meeting of the Security Council in Moscow's Kremlin

MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—As the West ramped up its sanctions against the Russian Federation, on Wednesday Russian President Vladimir Putin convened a high-level meeting of his imaginary friends to craft a response.

Putin spent over six hours consulting with his inner circle of imaginary friends, whom he refers to as the League of Superior Beings.

Attending the meeting were Igor, a powerful brute who can deflect missiles with his bare fists; Dr. Karamazov, who can control the world’s weather; and Ludmila, a sorceress whose powers include the ability to bend time and transform herself into a number of animals and insects.

Putin emerged from the meeting energized and upbeat, telling associates that Igor and Ludmila had put aside their usual rivalry to confront the threat of sanctions.

According to sources, Putin and his imaginary friends are weighing a broad array of options, including covering Europe in icicles and sending U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry to another dimension.

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Letter: Town Board Was No Help on Key Iskalo Decisions

AmherstTownHall1

July 26, 2014

Town Board was no help on key Iskalo decisions

Last summer, the frenzy about the Iskalo Hyatt peaked.

Amherst officials worked on the Hyatt for 18 months, in secret, and sprung it on the community with five days notice. The town’s boards held the minimum number of meetings required and promptly, without discussion, approved every Iskalo request, blind to the facts and deaf to the community. The massive 6-plus story hotel, shoehorned into an undersized irregularly shaped lot, was rubber stamped by the Town Board and Planning Board and given nine variances from the Zoning Board. The building permit was issued. Done deal.

The Town Board did nothing to change this mega-sized hotel. Their only voices were to blame other town committees. They did agree to study what the appropriate building height might be and how future commercial buildings should be sited next to housing.

The town’s “height committee” has been meeting for a year. No public notices. No minutes. But their secret discussions just became public. This week a resolution was passed, titled “Protecting Residential Properties,” to change the setback requirement for commercial buildings, like the distance a hotel can be from housing.

The Iskalo Hyatt is set back 65 feet. The new rules would require a setback of 225 feet. A set back of 66 feet would have pushed the Iskalo Hyatt off the parcel.

And the project would have died.

So thanks, Town Board. But you are a year late in doing your job.

It’s too little. Too late.

Michele F. Marconi

Amherst

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BAK USA Plans to Make PC Tablets in Buffalo

Bak

A multinational social enterprise company is preparing to make Buffalo its global headquarters for electronic pc tablets. BAK USA will produce low-cost, high quality PC tablets.

BAK will operate from the top floor of the old Sheehan hospital in downtown Buffalo.

BAK’S operation will be based on what they did in Haiti after the 2010 earthquake. They started SURTAB, SA where Haitians are trained to make electronic tablets. One person makes the tablet from beginning to end.
Read more…

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