Obama’s Gun Confiscation Plan Plagued by Website Glitches

Andy Borowitz's photo.

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WASHINGTON – President Obama’s signature gun confiscation program has been plagued by website problems which may delay the President’s goal of collecting the nation’s three hundred million guns by the end of 2016.

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Officials first noticed the problems when users attempting to schedule their mandatory gun pickups logged on to the new federal website, www.gunreturn.gov, and received an error message. The gun confiscation program, which Obama enacted through an executive order, will now be delayed until the site can be fixed, but the President attempted to downplay the problems.

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“You don’t take everyone’s guns away without hitting a few bumps in the road,” he said.

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Fiorina Has High Name Recognition Among Thousands She Fired

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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—One day after the former Hewlett-Packard C.E.O. Carly Fiorina announced her candidacy for the 2016 Republican Presidential nomination, a new poll shows that she enjoys extremely high name recognition among the tens of thousands of former H.P. employees she fired.

According to the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, Fiorina’s name recognition stands at a hundred per cent among the legions of employees she terminated, with many of them calling the former C.E.O. “unforgettable.”

Additionally, a broad majority of the laid-off workers described their feelings about Fiorina as “intense,” and noted that very few days go by when they do not invoke her name in a vehement manner.

Davis Logsdon, who supervised the survey for the University of Minnesota, said that Fiorina’s entry into the Republican race had “energized” many former H.P. employees.

“Most of them were apathetic about the race before, but now they are very excited to see how it plays out for Carly Fiorina,” he said.

Impressively, Fiorina’s hundred-per-cent name recognition among fired H.P. employees ranks her ahead of other names mentioned in the survey, such as Darth Vader (ninety-nine per cent) and Satan (ninety-seven per cent).

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Sprocktoberfest in May

Sprocktoberfest in May for charity at Park Country Club

Sprocktoberfest

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What Restaurants To Business Travelers Expense The Most?

 Starbucks is No.1

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This is A Joke, Isn’t It?

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DiNapoli: Audits Find Certain IDAs Lack Job Creation Data

DiNapoli

Concerns with Contracts, Unauthorized Loans Also Identified

Recent audits by New York State Comptroller Thomas P. DiNapoli have revealed a number of local Industrial Development Agencies (IDAs) do not verify if businesses receiving tax breaks are actually meeting job creation goals. These same IDAs are unable to recover incentives given to companies that fail to reach specific benchmarks because of inadequate contract agreements.

DiNapoli’s office audited the IDAs in Cattaraugus County, Orleans County, Oswego County, Schenectady County and Schuyler County. The IDAs responses are included in the audit reports.

“These audits highlighted what is both right and wrong with IDAs in our state,” said DiNapoli. “Too many communities are left with unanswered questions about the effectiveness of providing costly tax breaks to private companies. IDAs owe it to taxpayers to appropriately track whether companies are delivering on their promises and take back benefits if they are not. My office will continue to scrutinize the operations of these entities so that residents can better determine if their local IDA is fulfilling its mission.”
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Will Amherst Continue to be Know As the Concrete Jungle

Town of Amherst

The upcoming election could be the best chance the people have to show party chairmen who endorse old faces who’ve been in the rodeo before.  The residents must look into their hearts and vote for the best candidate not the losers.

In one party the chairman chose two candidate for our important town board seats who had a total of 7 races in Amherst between them and only 2 wins.  

Party chairman put up the same candidates year after year.  They are the ones who gave Amherst the nick name “The Concrete Jungle.” Developers gave us a ton of concrete and very little green space.

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Kate Middleton, Prince William Name Daughter Charlotte Elizabeth Diana

Princess Charlotte

The royal name, which includes a nod to Prince William’s late mother Princess Diana, was confirmed in a release. “The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are delighted to announce that they have named their daughter Charlotte Elizabeth Diana,” the statement reads. Charlotte was one of the early favorites for the baby’s name, mentioned alongside Alice, Victoria, and Alexandra. “The baby will be known as Her Royal Highness Princess Charlotte of Cambridge.”

The carefully selected moniker includes multiple ties to the happy couple’s families. In addition to the Princess Di tribute, the name also includes Elizabeth, which is the name of the baby’s paternal great-grandmother (a legacy British royal name), as well as the middle name the princess’ maternal grandmother, Carole Middleton. The Duchess’ sister Pippa has the middle name of Charlotte, which is also the name of the Duke’s cousin, Lady Charlotte, and the feminine form of Charles, Prince of Wales.

When asked why these names were picked, a Kensington Palace aide told Us, “We’ll let the names speak for themselves.”

After just two hours in labor, the Duchess of Cambridge, 33, gave birth to Her Royal Highness, Princess Charlotte of Cambridge, on Saturday, May 2. She arrived at St. Mary’s Hospital in Paddington, London at 8:34 a.m. and weighed in at 8 lbs., and 3 oz.

 

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Yes FRACKING Has Caused Earthquakes, Posioning Of Our Drinking Water

no fracking sign

Some rock is saturated with water — the water occupies pores between rock particles. This creates what’s called ‘pore pressure’ and keeps the formation in a sort of equilibrium. If you suck the water out, particles tend to collapse in on themselves: the rock compresses. Add water, and you push particles apart. So moving water around underground can affect the stresses on those formations.

“Now let’s say there’s a fault in the earth. If the water content around the fault is changed, the fault might slip. If the water gets into the fault itself, it can lubricate the fault and trigger a quake.

“Recent quakes reported in Ohio and Arkansas are associated with wastewater wells, not fracking wells. The water first used in fracturing rock is retrieved and pumped into these waste wells, which take in lots of water. And at more than 9,000 feet deep, the water is under high pressure that can build up over months or years. It’s this pressure that can actually create earthquakes.”

Fracking is a gold mine to companies who don’t mind destroying our mother earth.

We must stop these murderers from destroying our only home, mother earth. 

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How Does Fracking Affect the Environment?

Excessive water use

For starters, each single fracture job on a vertical well uses 50,000 gallons of water. Horizontal wells use several millions of gallons of water. 1 And, once the well is initially drilled, fracking can continue anywhere from ten to eighteen times – using several millions of gallons of water each time.

This excessive use of water takes a significant toll on neighboring water supplies. Most of the water is taken from surface water sources (rivers, lakes, or municipal supplies), but groundwater often is used, also.

Contaminated water waste
Millions of gallons of water are used and contaminated during the fracking process, but it all has to go somewhere. Once the water surfaces again as waste water, the disposal method simply depends on the location of the frack job.

Some states, like Colorado, Texas, and Wyoming, leave the waste water to evaporate. Once the water is gone, the remaining sludge is disposed of in landfills. Other states process the waste water in municipal water treatment facilities. But these plants cannot adequately process the toxic waste water – the water can then be dumped into rivers or sent to waste water collections. Frackers in Pennsylvania attempted to clean the waste water, then released the still-polluted water into rivers and creeks. Once the unsafe water was discovered, frackers began shipping the toxic waste water to waste water wells in Ohio. 2

Frack quakes
Currently scientists and gas industry executives are debating whether or not fracking is causing earthquakes. According to National Public Radio, geologists have discovered “that even pumping water away from underground mines (to keep them from flooding) changes the dynamics of stress in rock formations enough to trigger a quake.”

Earthquakes have been occurring more frequently in fracking locations in Ohio and Arkansas. As NPR further explains:

“Some rock is saturated with water — the water occupies pores between rock particles. This creates what’s called ‘pore pressure’ and keeps the formation in a sort of equilibrium. If you suck the water out, particles tend to collapse in on themselves: the rock compresses. Add water, and you push particles apart. So moving water around underground can affect the stresses on those formations.

“Now let’s say there’s a fault in the earth. If the water content around the fault is changed, the fault might slip. If the water gets into the fault itself, it can lubricate the fault and trigger a quake.

“Recent quakes reported in Ohio and Arkansas are associated with wastewater wells, not fracking wells. The water first used in fracturing rock is retrieved and pumped into these waste wells, which take in lots of water. And at more than 9,000 feet deep, the water is under high pressure that can build up over months or years. It’s this pressure that can actually create earthquakes.”

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