Kochs Approve Plan to Fire Cash from Cannon at Voters



NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—The billionaire Koch brothers have approved a controversial plan to shoot cash from cannons directly at voters heading into polling places on Election Day.

The plan, which Koch insiders have privately referred to as Operation Money Shot, would distribute as much as seventy million dollars in small bills in the hopes of seizing Republican control of the United States Senate next Tuesday.

While most state laws prohibit electioneering within a hundred feet of polling places, the Koch plan craftily skirts that restriction by using high-powered cash cannons, similar to the T-shirt cannons used in sports arenas, which have a range of up to a hundred and fifty feet.

According to a spokesman for the Kochs, “Under the law, corporations are considered people, and people have always had the right to fire money from cannons at other people.”

When news of Operation Money Shot reached Democratic circles several weeks ago, there were howls of protest and threats of a legal challenge, as Democratic leaders complained that firing cash directly at voters about to cast their ballots would be a subversion of the election process.

But the Supreme Court upheld the Koch brothers’ plan by a five-to-four vote on Thursday, arguing that spending money on elections was protected by the First Amendment, and that using a cannon was protected by the Second.

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The Scales of Justice Are About to be Tipped

Seems as though I’m not the only one who questions the worthiness of Dennis Ward.  Others question his ability to be a true, fair and just judge.  Hell, I doubt his worthiness as a person!

New Republican Dennis Ward Not Worthy of Election 

By Peter Livingston

Over the past few weeks, I have been interested in the Buffalo News coverage of the nominating process for New York State Supreme Court justices. They are on the mark that party bosses are driving the process in order to add certainty to the outcome, decrease the cost of elections and reward political allies.

Since Erie County Democratic Party Committee chairman Jeremy Zellner can’t seem to win too much at the ballot boxes, cross-endorsements are a great way for him chalk up a rare victory. I am sure that Democrats across Erie County are proud of his success.

When word got out that four of the five State Supreme Court races would be all but decided due to cross-endorsements, the race was on to secure one of the spots. As the Buffalo News reported, then-Commissioner of the Erie County Board of Elections Dennis Ward’s last act before attending the endorsement meeting to seek an endorsement was to give out raises to Arthur Eve, Jr., Connie Zellner (Chairman Zellner’s mother) and Robb Poloncarz (County Executive Poloncarz’s brother). Each had influence on the judicial convention. Ward’s rationale: “We took a pretty big hit, and everybody took at least one and maybe a two-step decrease in pay in the 2012 budget. My decision was to restore where we could.”
Read more…

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Obama Urged to Apologize for Anti-Fear Remark


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President Obama is coming under increasing pressure to apologize for a controversial remark that he made on Tuesday, in which he said that the nation’s Ebola policy should be based on facts rather than fear.

While the anti-fear tenor of Mr. Obama’s comment was offensive enough to some, the President made matters worse by suggesting that science would play the leading role in guiding the nation’s Ebola protocols—a role that many Americans believe should be played by fear.

Across the country, Democratic candidates have sought to distance themselves from the President’s incendiary statement, especially in states like North Carolina, where science and facts have record-low approval ratings.

Carol Foyler, a Democratic consultant in Colorado, said that she was “smacking my head” at the President’s divisive comment.

“He’s unpopular enough as it is,” she said. “Aligning yourself with science and facts is a surefire way to alienate millions of Americans.”

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Why I Am Not Voting For Cuomo

by Paul Wolf

clean up Albany

Below are just a few reasons why I am not voting to re-elect Andrew Cuomo as Governor.

1) Open Government - Cuomo promised his administration would be the most open and transparent New York State has ever seen. Several examples show that under Cuomo open government has taken a step backwards:

- Under Cuomo a policy has been implemented whereby emails are automatically destroyed after 90 days. Storage of emails on a state computer servers is not an issue. This policy is a convenient way to hinder pesky reporters from obtaining important information months or years later. Some states require emails to be saved for several years.

- Cuomo and members of his inner circle purposely do not communicate through government email. Cuomo uses Blackberry pin to pin messages to communicate which does not leave a paper trail.
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County Democrats Recommend Lenihan for Elections Post

Len Lenihan

The executive committee of the Erie County Democratic Committee unanimously recommended Leonard R. Lenihan Jr. for appointment as the Democratic commissioner of the county Board of Elections.

If the appointment is approved by the County Legislature, Lenihan, 66, would succeed Dennis E. Ward, who in September gained a bipartisan nomination for State Supreme Court that virtually guarantees his election in November.

Jeremy J. Zellner, chairman of the county committee, said, “Given the unanimous support of our entire executive committee, coupled with Mr. Lenihan’s record of service to our community, his leadership roles as a lawmaker, personnel commissioner and commitment to our party, I urge the Erie County Legislature to act swiftly to appoint him.”

Just what does this really mean?  This just means the Zellnerites want Lenny, and/or they figure he has enough votes to win the nomination – at least 3 of the 5 Dems.  Those votes would probably be Loughran, Betty Jean, and one of the other 3.  Sadly, because the other 3 could not agree on a common candidate I am thinking that the 3rd vote came with a promise of a job as a quid for the quo.

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BLUE: New York’s West Coast Party 2015

road less traveled logo

Second Annual Summer Fundraiser to Take Place at the Shores Waterfront Restaurant

Road Less Traveled Productions (RLTP) is excited to announce its third annual summer event, BLUE: New York’s West Coast Party 2015.  BLUE 2015 will be held Wednesday, June 24th, 2014, beginning at 5:30 PM and continuing through 10:00 PM, at The Shores Waterfront Restaurant on Tonawanda Island, NY.

Live entertainment will be provided by Western New York’s own JOYRYDE.  JOYRYDE was voted Best Top 40 Band by their peers at the Buffalo Music Awards. They have also earned individual awards for: Best Female Vocalist, Best Keyboardist, Best Drummer and have been inducted into the Buffalo Music Hall Of Fame (www.joyrydeband.com).

BLUE 2015 will also feature activities such as bocce and corn-hole tournaments with prizes.  Signature BLUE drinks will be offered at both cash bar and VIP areas.  Dessert will be provided by Buffalo’s own Ashker’s Juice Bar.  50/50 split raffle and RLTP merchandise will also be available for purchase. Blue attire encouraged.

Two ticketing options available:

-    General admission ticket price is $25 each/$30 door

(includes dinner, activities, and entertainment)

-    VIP admission ticket price is $55 each/$60 door

         (includes dinner, alcoholic beverages, activities, and entertainment)

A limited number of door tickets will be available the day of the event, advance purchase is suggested.  Dinner will be provided courtesy of The Shores.  Cash bar and cash clams will be available for separate purchase.

Tickets to BLUE: New York’s West Coast Party 2015 will be available December 1st online at www.roadlesstraveledproductions.org or the RLTP Box Office Phone Line at (716) 629-3069.  RLTP patrons will receive priority access to tickets, on sale Saturday, November 1st.  For more info, please call or via email at marketing@roadlesstraveledproductions.org. The event will be rain or shine.  Plenty of parking will be available.  The Shores Waterfront Restaurant is located at 2 Detroit St, Tonawanda Island, NY 14120 (http://www.shoreswaterfront.com/).

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27 Things People From Buffalo Love

Wings and Labatts for a Sunday night Bills game is just the tip of the iceberg of what’s to love in the best Western New York city.

27 Things People From Buffalo Love

Buffalo is Upstate, sure. But do you know how big Upstate New York is? It’s basically 90 percent of New York. The folks in Buffalo are Western. We’re not Central New York, we’re not the Finger Lakes.  We’re WNY and proud. And yes, there is a difference.
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Poll: Majority of Americans Would Support Jeb Bush Painting

by Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A new poll released today shows that an overwhelming majority of Americans would support the idea of former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush taking up painting.

According to the poll, which has a margin of error of plus or minus three percentage points, seventy-four per cent of those surveyed “strongly agreed” with the statement: “Jeb Bush painting would be a really good thing for the United States and also for the rest of the world.”

A spokesman for Mr. Bush said that, as of yet, the former governor had made no decision to start painting but would “try to make up his mind by the end of the year” at the latest.

“Gov. Bush wants to serve his country and if he can best do that by painting, so be it,” the spokesman said.

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Andy’s Snippets of News

Andy Borowitz

by Andy Borowitz

Nurse Kaci Hickox, a member of Doctors Without Borders, was released from her quarantine today by Gov. Chris Christie, a member of Bullies Without Boundaries.

So a nurse has proved that the cure for an Ebola quarantine is a lawsuit.

If Jeb Bush runs for President, he should avoid the slogan, “Let’s Finish the Job.”

I just looked it up: being elected Governor does not give you a license to practice medicine in your state: http://nyr.kr/1pQTTZF

Vibrant American Political System Attracts Exciting Roster of Fresh Talent

Vibrant American Political System Attracts Exciting Roster of Fresh Talent
The Pope’s views on the creation of the universe have destroyed his chances of ever winning the Republican nomination.

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Village of Williamsville Meeting Notes

Village of Williamsville 1

The Village Board on Monday night approved Design Guidelines for Historic Landmarks in the village. The landmarks will be available on the village website later today.

The board also came to a compromise with local business owners on parking and right of way restorations at Main & Hirschfield.

The village, working with local businesses, will:

- Build two bulb-outs at Main Street and Hirschfield Drive with planted trees to absorb storm water and shield pedestrians from cars.
- Create a shelter for cars to park in front of businesses on Hirschfield Drive that includes three parking spaces and a buffer lane to allow space for customers to safely enter and exit their cars.
- Create a walkable and environmentally sound streetscape with pavers or a storm water bio retention swale between cars on the street and pedestrians on the sidewalk.

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