From: Plymouth Marketing Associates Inc.
To: Gov. William Bradford
Re: ”Thanksgiving” (working title)
Focus groups on the proposed holiday (”Thanksgiving”) were held in the Plymouth area over the past two weeks. The holiday tested in the ”weak” category across all demographic groups, especially among younger participants.
In particular, teens and ”tweens” indicated that unless significant improvements are made to the holiday, they would be unlikely to come to the table.
Participants found the story of ”Thanksgiving” dull and unappealing, and some found it confusing as well. Several wondered why the Pilgrims appeared to be in uniform, and one male in the 18-to-34 age group theorized that ”maybe they were cops.”
Miles Standish received extremely low scores, especially among women, who described him as ”stiff” and ”passive.” In the words of one of the women in the 18-to-34 age group, ”He reminds me of my first husband — loser!” In all demographic groups, participants found Mr. Standish’s hat ”geeky.”
To counter Mr. Standish’s lack of appeal, some participants responded favorably to the notion of enlarging the roles of other characters in the ”Thanksgiving” story. Squanto received the most votes, with one male in the 12-to-18 age group suggesting that Squanto be endowed with super powers or, failing that, martial arts skills.
As for the proposed holiday meal, turkey, dressing, yams and pumpkin pie all tested in the ”weak” category, with participants indicating a ”very low” intention of going back for seconds.
Only cranberry sauce performed in the ”moderate” category, suggesting that the meal might be restructured to give cranberry sauce (or cranberries themselves) a more prominent role. Some participants suggested that the entire meal could be replaced with lighter fare, such as sushi or tapas.
Finally, the premise of the holiday itself — the idea of ”giving thanks” — had only limited appeal to those in the younger demographic groups, who called the premise ”bogus” and lacking an ”edge.”
With few exceptions, they felt that the holiday should be more interactive and provide the chance to air grievances and pet peeves. By a wide margin, they responded favorably to the proposed name change, ”Complaining Day.”
Polar Vortex Causes Hundreds of Injuries as People Making Snide Remarks About Climate Change Are Punched in Face
MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—The so-called polar vortex caused hundreds of injuries across the Midwest today, as people who said “so much for global warming” and similar comments were punched in the face.
Authorities in several states said that residents who had made ignorant comments erroneously citing the brutally cold temperatures as proof that climate change did not exist were reporting a sharp increase in injuries to the face and head regions.
In an emergency room in St. Paul, Harland Dorrinson, forty-one, was waiting to be treated for bruising to the facial area after he made a crack about how the below-freezing temperatures meant that climate-change activists were full of shit.
“I’d just finished saying it and boom, out of nowhere someone punched me in the face,” he said. “This polar vortex is really dangerous.”
The meteorology professor Davis Logsdon, of the University of Minnesota, issued a safety warning to residents of the states hammered by the historic low temperatures: “If you are living within the range of the polar vortex and you have something idiotic to say about climate change, do not leave your house.”
Now the public knows that the Mensch Group first tried to get in bed with the majority of people in that area by using the word “mensch” and have failed miserably.
The worm has turned. The other 6 main streets which the “Munchies group” tried to swing their support to them failed. The group surrounding and adjacent to the Mensch Group property are joining together to fight them.
As an initial step, a short letter to the DEC explaining what what did the Mensch group did, would be helpful. The Mensch group must put forth all information concerning what was found under The Westwood Empire. The letter must be placed in the Buffalo News, not in any local neighborhood paper, website or, blog.
Mensch Group must openly address any land, drainage, fish, foliage and water problems. If the Mensch Group has the “munchies” to build no matter what, they can expect a strong fight from the people who live near them or touch them.
A bill signed last week will give New Yorkers a new way to spark celebrations.
Gov. Andrew Cuomo signed on Friday a bill that will permit the sale and possession of sparklers and novelty devices (think caps for toy guns, snappers, party poppers, etc.) everywhere in the state except New York City.
Not everyone is likely happy with redefined statute. Then-state Firemen’s Association President James Burns told the Post-Standard in June that beginning to legalize fireworks would lead to increases in injuries and fires caused by the pyrotechnics. New York Public Interest Research Group Legislative Director Russ Haven also told the newspaper that the legislation was being pushed by the fireworks industry and “it’s bad public policy.”
An article appeared in the Amherst Bee this past Wednesday November 19, concerning the historical Westwood Country Club including the banquet facility, pool and the Window on the Green restaurant being shut down forever. “Forever” is the key word and many times “forever” is not that long.
The lost of revenue from the golf venture for the last 3 years had to be crippling. The Mensch Group has heavily subsidized the golf operations. Andrew J. Shaevel is the managing partner of the Mensch Capital Partners LLC, and the owner of the golf course. He mentioned he’s been carrying the golfing operations for years. He has not declared how much this venture lost in the golfing operations.
The Mensch Capital Partners. Interesting name. I’m guessing they chose it to reflect the idea of what a mensch is, a decent responsible person with admirable characteristics. The name is designed to draw people in like a moth to a flame. OUCH!.They could have picked any name for their group.They isn’t anyone in this group named Mensch.
Mr. Shaevel, spokesman for the Mensch Group, has opened the door to the first unknown quantity to his group: How much did the Mensch Group really lose in this golf fiasco?
The Erie County Health department decided to tell the Mensch group to have the grounds of the Westwood Empire tested. The ground testing results yielded disturbing and frightening facts. The ground was contaminated with arsenic on the greens and some of the fairway. Our capitalist friends, the Mensch Group, failed to mention what chemicals and carcinogens were part of the deadly mixture which was also a danger to their neighbors.
The people of Amherst want facts. Who did the ground testing? The person or persons who fertilized and tended to the greens applied several chemicals which were never mentioned. What else was found in the mixture used to fertilizer the golf course as well as every piece of Westwood’s grounds.
Answer, answers are needed from the Mensch Group. They own this land and it’s their reasonability to put out written proof concerning the results; written proof of who did the ground work and all the information they discovered, the dangers of what they dug up., how much arsenic was found at any level which was dangerous to humans?
This land must be checked out by an independent company before the DEC grants any help to the Mensch Group. Much more information must be in writing before the Mensch Group can be taken seriously
Residents deserve the facts. Put it in print. Tell us if there is any danger from what has been found, or has the danger from any fungicides, rodenticides and herbicides passed?
The state’s most powerful Republican secretly worked for months to help Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo win re-election — in exchange for Cuomo’s promise not to aid Senate Democrats in their Long Island races, a top New York GOP leader has charged.
Former state Republican Party Executive Director Michael Lawler — who managed Rob Astorino’s ill-fated gubernatorial run against Cuomo — told The Post that he learned of the alleged bombshell deal between Senate GOP leader Dean Skelos and Cuomo just days ago, after suspecting for months that it existed.