Midterms Prediction: Billionaires to Retain Control of Government

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—With just one week to go until the midterm elections, a new poll indicates that billionaires are likely to retain control of the United States government.

The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, shows that the proxy candidates of billionaires are likely to win ninety-eight per cent of next Tuesday’s races, with the remaining two per cent leaning billionaire.

Although the poll indicates that some races are still “too close to call,” the fact that billionaires funded candidates on both sides puts the races safely in their column.

Davis Logsdon, who supervised the poll for the University of Minnesota, said that next Tuesday should be “a big night for oligarchs” and that both houses of Congress can be expected to grovel at the feet of their money-gushing paymasters for at least the next two years.

Calling the billionaires’ upcoming electoral romp “historic,” Logsdon said, “We have not seen the super-rich maintain such a vise-like grip on the government since the days immediately preceding the French Revolution.”

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America FalIs From Greatest Because We Choose Weaklings and Cowards to Lead Us

vote

The days of old are back again.  Maybe they never left.  I’m speaking about voting.  I had the good fortune of growing up on the lower west side of Buffalo, Virginia Street to be precise.

Election day, or voting day, was like the Mardi Gras.  The men who worked in construction took the day off to vote and they voted at least 6 or more times for the same candidate.  I remember working in a garage that served as a gathering spot for the men on Election day.  My job was to clean up the glasses of beer and plates of spaghetti and meat balls.  When the men came back from voting they would tell stories about how easy it was to vote as many times as they wanted.  The delight of this feast wasn’t only electing the crooks who were up for a vote, but to drink all the different neighbors home made wines.  As the day proceed into for these group grew more and more drunk but they did their “job.”  They voted for the crooks the party boss told them to vote in.

Let’s jump ahead to 2014.  What has changed?

The public is saturated with commercials informing the people that most of the candidates have broken the law.  Some halted an investigation designed to clean up Albany, others rigged elections.  One candidate forged names on his petition to get on the ballot.  In court his attorney license was taken away for 30 days.

Along with these crimes many others were exposed.  Money passed hands which was never recorded.  The judges made deals begin then so two outstanding judges didn’t get cross endorsed.  In the last election over $119,000.disappeared and was never recovered.

These are two very different times in our history and little, if anything has changed, even voting machines are still being tampered with.

Whoever we pick, we have a very poor crop of losers to chose from.

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Andy’s Snippets of News

Andy Borowitz

by Andy Borowitz

Nurse Kaci Hickox, a member of Doctors Without Borders, was released from her quarantine today by Gov. Chris Christie, a member of Bullies Without Boundaries.

So a nurse has proved that the cure for an Ebola quarantine is a lawsuit.

If Jeb Bush runs for President, he should avoid the slogan, “Let’s Finish the Job.”

I just looked it up: being elected Governor does not give you a license to practice medicine in your state: http://nyr.kr/1pQTTZF

Vibrant American Political System Attracts Exciting Roster of Fresh Talent

Vibrant American Political System Attracts Exciting Roster of Fresh Talent

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Legend of Sleepy Hollow Namesake Lived in WNY as Commander of the Buffalo Barracks

BUFFALO, NY – We have come to know Ichabod Crane as the bookish, cowardly schoolmaster in the Washington Irving classic, “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”, but what you may not know is that Ichabod Crane was a real person, and nothing like his namesake.

The real Ichabod Crane was a War of 1812 veteran, who in late 1830′s and early 1840′s served as the commander of the Buffalo Barracks. The military installation stood between Delaware and Main Street, from North to Allen. A portion of the house now known as the Theodore Roosevelt Inaugural Site was actually the officers’ quarters at the time.
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Village of Williamsville Newsletter

Village of Williamsville 3

The Fall 2014 version of The Villager, the official Village of Williamsville newsletter is now available.

This is part of a growing effort to keep everyone in the Village fully informed about all of the exciting events and projects that are happening in our Village. The newsletter is available on our website,  www.village.williamsville.ny.us, or www.walkablewilliamsville.com.

Please send any questions, comments or suggestions to Charlie Specht, Director of Community Development, atcspecht@village.williamsville.ny.us.

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Couldn’t Make It?

Steve Meyer2a

From the campaign of Steve Meyer for Assembly:

Couldn’t come to our fundraiser? Consider contributing a few dollars today. We are asking all of our supporters to consider giving at least $5 to support this cause with just one week left until the election.

It’s a busy time of year. If you could not make it to one of our fundraisers this past month, please consider chipping in today, even if it’s only a few dollars.

This campaign is about you - Steve refuses to accept any contributions from corporations and their lobbyists, making this campaign more about the community and less about the CEO’s who want to buy government.

If you can give a few dollars today, please click here: www.electstevemeyer.com/donate.

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Buffalo Philharmonic Names Linda Greene as New Second Flute

BUFFALO, NY – After a three-day audition process that included more than a hundred qualified candidates, the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra has selected Linda Greene as the new second flute.

Greene served as temporary second flute during the BPO’s 2013-14 season. She has also held positions with Syracuse Symphony, Glimmerglass Opera, Albany Symphony Orchestra, Catskill Symphony Orchestra and Binghamton Symphony Orchestra.

Greene is also an accomplished teacher. She has been on the faculty of Hamilton College since 1986 and was on the faculty of Oswego State College from 1993 to 1998. Since 1979, she has maintained a private teaching studio in Central New York.

Greene earned her bachelor’s degree from Syracuse University. Her major teachers have included Harold Bennett of the Metropolitan Opera Orchestra and John Oberbrunner and Deborah Coble, both of Syracuse Symphony.

“I thoroughly enjoyed my experience with the Buffalo Philharmonic and JoAnn Falletta last year. I’ve made a lot of friends in the orchestra and feel that I’m already part of the team,” Greene said. “One of the things I love about playing Second Flute is being an inner voice, the ‘glue’ between the low and high voices, the intense listening and flexibility it requires. The BPO is a fabulous orchestra with inspired leadership in a vibrant, optimistic city. I’m thrilled to become a permanent member and move to Buffalo.”

The BPO uses a blind audition process. Candidates perform behind a screen for a panel that includes BPO Music Director JoAnn Falletta and orchestra musicians. After two days of screening candidates, the panel selected several finalists and listened to each of them a second time before making their selection. Only upon making their selection do they learn the identity of the person chosen.

“The entire panel was very pleased when it was revealed that we had selected Linda as our new second flute. She made an extremely positive contribution to the orchestra last season, and I know she will be an excellent addition to our orchestra,” said BPO Music Director JoAnn Falletta.

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…the Drone Genie is Out of the Bottle…..

The co-pilot of the airliner told the UK Airprox Board investigation how he believed the remote-controlled quadcopter drone had been flown at the plane 'deliberately' during the incident in Southend, Essex  (file picture)
..the Drone Genie is out of the bottle……

Quadcopter drone ‘deliberately flown at passenger airliner’ over Essex England

  • Plane came within 80ft of colliding with drone as it went to land at Southend
  • Pilot of 74-seater airliner said quadcopter was ‘very close’ to right wing-tip
  • Co-pilot told investigation drone was deliberately flown at aircraft at 1,500ft
  • UK Airprox Board incident report concluded there was ‘high risk of collision

An airliner came within just 80ft of colliding with a quadcopter drone after it was ‘deliberately flown’ at the passenger plane as it flew over Essex, an official report reveals.

The 74-seater aeroplane was travelling over Southend when the pilot spotted the remote-controlled quadcopter ‘very close’ to the right wing-tip.

An investigation launched into the incident recorded the risk of collision as ‘high’, in what is believed to be the first ever near-miss between a passenger plane and a drone in the UK.
Read more…

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Steve Meyer For Assembly

 

Couldn’t come to our fundraiser? Consider contributing a few dollars today. We are asking all of our supporters to consider giving at least $5 to support this cause with just one week left until the election.It’s a busy time of year. If you could not make it to one of our fundraisers this past month, please consider chipping in today, even if it’s only a few dollars.This campaign is about you- Steve refuses to accept any contributions from corporations and their lobbyists, making this campaign more about the community and less about the CEO’s who want to buy government.If you can give a few dollars today, please click here: www.electstevemeyer.com/donate.
-=-=-Steve Meyer for Assembly · United States
This email was sent to jimtricoli@gmail.com. To stop receiving emails, click here.
You can also keep up with Steve Meyer on Twitter or Facebook.-=-=-

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Poll: Majority of Americans Favor Quarantining Wolf Blitzer

by 

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report) — Amid concerns that the spreading fear of Ebola has become a greater threat than the virus itself, a new poll shows that a majority of Americans favor a quarantine of the CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer.

While poll respondents supported quarantining more than a dozen cable-news personalities, including the entire cast of “Fox & Friends,” a full seventy-two per cent gave the nod to a quarantine of Blitzer.

At the Centers for Disease Control, a spokesman said that a Blitzer quarantine was “very much on the table,” and that the C.D.C. had come up with a workable plan.

“Essentially, we would do a lockdown of ‘The Situation Room’ and provide Wolf with food and water until the crisis passes,” he said.

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