POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President Obama used his weekly radio address on Saturday to reassure the American people that he has “played no role whatsoever” in the U.S. government over the past four years.“Right now, many of you are angry at the government, and no one is angrier than I am,” he said. “Quite frankly, I am glad that I have had no involvement in such an organization.”

The President’s outrage only increased, he said, when he “recently became aware of a part of that government called the Department of Justice.”

“The more I learn about the activities of these individuals, the more certain I am that I would not want to be associated with them,” he said. “They sound like bad news.”

Mr. Obama closed his address by indicating that beginning next week he would enforce what he called a “zero tolerance policy on governing.”

“If I find that any members of my Administration have had any intimate knowledge of, or involvement in, the workings of the United States government, they will be dealt with accordingly,” he said.

The 2013 Dusk to Dawn Relay hosted by the Amherst Youth & Recreation Department in partnership with the Amherst Youth Foundation will once again be held at the Buffalo-Niagara Heritage Museum tonight, Friday, May 17th.

The Buffalo-Niagara Heritage Village (formerly the Amherst Museum) located at 3755 Tonawanda Creek Rd. in Amherst is the site for the 2013 Dusk to Dawn relay challenge.

Spend a night at the museum.  Join your friends and neighbors for the challenge of a lifetime.
Activities include:

• Food, Music Games
• Karaoke, Prizes, Awards
• All night movies
• Camp out all night!
• Eat, Sleep & Run for Fun!
• Hang out with your friends and neighbors
• Help raise funds for youth programs in our area

12 hours of non-stop fun!

What are you doing tonight?

Buffalo Philharmonic announces summer season

Buffalo, NY – The Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra’s summer season will take them to several of Western New York’s best public spaces and performing venues. The BPO will perform 12 times, including several free outdoor concerts and the return of Summer Nights@Kleinhans.

Picnic under the stars with free concerts in the parks 

The summer season kicks off with the BPO’s return to Bidwell Park in the Elmwood Village on Tuesday, June 25 and Knox Farm State Park in East Aurora on Thursday, June 27, each beginning at 7 p.m. These free, outdoor concerts will be conducted by Matthew Kraemer, and will feature a mix of Americana, taking listeners from the Cotton Club to the Motor City, and Broadway to Hollywood. The Bidwell Park concert is made possible with support from Wendy Pierce. The concert at the Knox Farm State Park is presented with support from Lakeshore Savings, Realty USA and Fox Run of Orchard Park.

Philharmonic at the Fort

At 7 p.m. Saturday, June 29, the BPO will perform a bombastic concert at one of the area’s oldest historic sites: Old Fort Niagara in Youngstown. Matthew Kraemer conducts this concert of classical favorites, including works by Rossini, Copland, Dvorak and Beethoven, concluding with the 1812 Overture by Tchaikovsky. The concert is free for children younger than 6; $10 for students and $20 general admission. A family four-pack is available for $49. All tickets will be available through the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra box office at (716) 885-5000 orwww.bpo.org. Tickets include admission to the park.

Summer Nights@Kleinhans

The BPO’s second season of Summer Nights@Kleinhans will kick off at 7 p.m. Saturday, July 6 with Tchaikovsky Spectacular, conducted by Matthew Kraemer. From the ballets of Swan Lake and Romeo and Juliet to great orchestral works like Marche Slave and Capriccio Italien, Tchaikovsky is one of the Romantic era’s most beloved and popular composers. Audiences for Summer Nights@Kleinhans are invited to pack a picnic supper or sample the wares of the Buffalo food trucks and enjoy the grounds of the concert hall and its historic neighborhood setting.

Summer Nights@Kleinhans will continue at 7 p.m. Friday, July 19 with A Tribute to Dave Brubeck. In the closing days of 2012, the music world lost a legend. Jazz composer and pianist Dave Brubeck was 91 when he died. He is credited with introducing the Baby Boom generation to jazz, and popularizing it to a mainstream audience. The BPO will pay tribute to his legacy with a performance featuring the Brubeck Brothers Quartet, formed by his sons.

JoAnn Falletta will take the podium for the final Summer Nights@Kleinhans concert, at 7 p.m. Friday, July 26. España features Spanish-inflected music by Chabrier, Falla and Rimsky-Korsakov. Special guest artist Celil Refik Kaya wowed Buffalo when he won the 2012 JoAnn Falletta International Guitar Concerto Competition, and he returns to the scene of his triumph with this concert.

Tickets for Summer Nights @ Kleinhans range from $19 to $49 and can be obtained by calling (716) 885-5000 or visiting bpo.org.

Play Ball!

The Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra and the Bisons continue their Independence Eve tradition. On Wednesday, July 3, the Bisons will play the Rochester Red Wings at Coca-Cola Field starting at 6:05. After the game, the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra will take the field, joined by the Buffalo Philharmonic Chorus and led by Paul Ferington, for a program of patriotic favorites followed by Buffalo’s biggest fireworks display. Tickets are available at www.bisons.com.

Celebration of Music with the BPO and Friends at Canalside

Over a two-day period, the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra will share its best with Western New York through a series of free performances at Canalside. The afternoon of Saturday, July 13 offers audiences a chance to see what BPO members do when they’re not rehearsing for a concert. Chamber groups, jazz quartets, and percussion ensembles featuring BPO members are all on the schedule.

Lunch with the BPO at M&T Bank Plaza

The M&T Bank Plaza summer noontime concert series is celebrating its 44th year, and the Buffalo Philharmonic will once again perform. Paul Ferington will lead the orchestra on July 16 in this free outdoor concert.

Celebrating Artpark’s 40th anniversary

Calling all talented amateur musicians!

The BPO’s newest summer tradition is the Fantasy Camp. Adult musicians apply to spend the day learning from the pros under the direction of JoAnn Falletta. A day of rehearsals and sectional coaching culminates in an evening performance with the BPO. No audition is required, but applications, available at bpo.org,must be submitted by June 21. Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake Suite, Bizet’s Carmen Suites, Copland’s Rodeo, and Borodin’s Polovetsian Dances are all on the program. Friends, family and community members can cheer them on from the seats in Kleinhans free of charge at 8 p.m. Saturday, July 27.

For further information about the summer concerts, visit www.bpo.org or call (716) 885-5000.

Congressman Brian Higgins (NY-26) visited the Robert H. Jackson Center on Friday, May 24, 2013 to take part in events featuring current U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, Jr.   Chief Justice Roberts, a Western New York native, returned to his home community to participate in a ceremony marking the 10^th anniversary of the Jackson Center in Jamestown, NY.

During a private luncheon at the Jackson Center with Chief Justice Roberts, Higgins presented the Center with an official, signed copy of the House of Representatives’ bill naming Western New York’s federal courthouse for Justice Jackson.

“It is an honor to join the current Chief Justice as we recognize Robert Jackson, a distinguished Supreme Court Justice and Western New Yorker who shaped our legal system and will now be forever recognized and remembered through the naming of the new federal courthouse,” said Higgins.

Congressman Higgins introduced a bill calling for the naming the new U.S. Courthouse in Buffalo for Robert H. Jackson in December of 2011.  The bill, cosponsored by the full 29-member bipartisan New York delegation was approved by the House of Representatives on July 23, 2012 and signed by President Obama on October 5, 2012.  A ceremonial dedication naming the courthouse for Jackson is scheduled to take place this summer.

Robert H. Jackson was raised in Western New York and practiced law in Buffalo and Jamestown.  He was a U.S. Attorney General, a distinguished member of the U.S. Supreme Court who presided over some of the most important cases of his time, and was appointed by President Truman to prosecute Nazi war criminals in the Nuremburg Trials.

Higgins represented Chautauqua County, home of the Robert H. Jackson Center, from 2005 through 2012.

It’s difficult to understand why anyone would watch the 700 Club or listen to anything Pat Robertson says.  He’s a moron with no morals.  Unbelievable that he would even consider calling himself a Christian.

Televangelist Pat Robertson is under fire once again after telling the wife of a cheating husband to get over the infidelity and provide a better home so he doesn’t “wander.”

“Stop talking about the cheating. He cheated on you. Well, he’s a man. O.K.,” Robertson said.

Robertson suggested the wife forget about the incident and focus on why she married her husband in the first place, advising she try to fall in love with him again. The televangelist rolled out a series of questions for Ivy to think about.

“Does he provide a home for you to live in? Does he provide food for you to eat?” Robertson asked. “Is he handsome?”

But it was the way Robertson ended his response that set off a firestorm.

“Males have a tendency to wander a little bit, and what you want to do it make the home so wonderful that he doesn’t want to wander,” he said.
Read more and watch the video…

Natural Resources Canada reported that a 5.1 magnitude earthquake was reported at 9:43 a.m. 13 miles northeast of Shawville, Quebec, which is in the western part of the province about an hour’s drive from the Canadian capital of Ottawa.

The U.S. Geological Survey put the earthquake at 5.0 magnitude and said it was about 16 miles north-northeast of Shawville.

Ten minutes later, the Canadian agency reported a 4.2 magnitude earthquake, an apparent aftershock, in the same region.
Read more…

POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Today Speaker of the House John Boehner issued the following letter to the American people:Dear American People,

Yesterday, your hardworking House Republicans tried, once again, and failed, once again, to repeal Obamacare. And I really thought we had a good chance this time.

That’s because we were all united in our hatred for this infernal and takes-too-long-to-read law. Every last one of us cast his vote to strike it down, from crazy little Paul Ryan to that arrogant bastard Eric Cantor.

And I wish you could have seen the faces of those freshman Republicans as they voted to repeal Obamacare—so innocent, so full of hope and wonder. As I told them yesterday, “You’ll never forget your first time.”

It’s important for you to know that even as scandals swirl about the cesspool known as the White House, some folks in Washington are still working hard for the American people.

It was a gruelling week for me, what with popping up in front of the TV cameras every five minutes saying, “Who’s going to jail?,” plus trying to rid our land of Obamacare. But I don’t want your thanks. Save that for the dedicated House Republicans who have now voted thirty-seven times to repeal. You can’t put a price tag on that kind of performance. Well, actually, you can: it’s cost the taxpayers over fifty million dollars.

And worth every million, damn it.

One last thing. I know some of you are probably thinking that after suffering this latest defeat, we House Republicans are just going to take our bat and ball and go home. Well, there’s an old saying where I come from: the thirty-eighth time’s the charm.

Courage,

John Boehner

Hosted by EC Department of Environment & Planning, Event Explores Options for Savings, Energy Efficiency in Buildings and Fleets

ERIE COUNTY, NY— The Erie County Department of Environment & Planning (“DEP”) will host a free, Renew Erie County Business Energy lunch & learn workshop on Thursday, May 30, 2013 from 11:30 AM – 1:30 PM in the Campbell Student Union Building (Room 302) on the Buffalo State College campus, 1300 Elmwood Ave., Buffalo, NY.  DEP Deputy Commissioner Thomas R. Hersey, Jr. will deliver opening remarks; presenters at the workshop will discuss how businesses and not-for-profit organizations can take advantage of available programs and funding opportunities to help reduce energy use and associated energy costs.

“Energy conservation is good for our environment, is good business strategy, and brings rewards in both the short- and long term,” said Erie County Executive Mark C. Poloncarz. “Organizations can see an immediate impact on their bottom lines shortly after implementing conservation measures, with long-term savings accruing in the future. This program will help interested groups to identify financial incentives and technical assistance opportunities that can help them reduce their energy expenses.”

Participants will learn about programs and incentives available for making energy-efficient improvements to their buildings and fleets. Additionally, the New York Small Business Development Center will provide information on business financing and other assistance for building owners. All local and regional small businesses, commercial, not-for-profit, industrial and multi-family property owners are encouraged to attend.

Presenters at the event will include the New York State Energy Research and Development Authority (“NYSERDA”), National Fuel Gas, National Grid, New York State Electric & Gas (“NYSEG”), the U.S. Department of Energy Clean Communities of Western New York Coalition, and other utility programs. NYSERDA’s Energy Audit Program offers free energy audits for small businesses and not-for-profits to help them identify energy efficiency opportunities and ways to reduce energy costs. National Fuel Gas will provide an energy efficiency kit to each attendee. Information will also be available on cash-back incentives for energy efficiency projects, as well as low-interest and on-bill energy efficiency project financing to assist in completing projects.

Pre-register for the free lunch & learn workshop at www.RenewErieCounty.org   or by calling 1-866-495-2959 to reserve your seat. Lunch and parking is free for event attendees.

Thursday evening April 11, 2013, the Republican Party was going to endorse candidates to run for the Amherst Town Board.  They decided not to endorse anyone until next month.  The Republicans were set to endorse Shelly Schratz and Steve Sanders but due to their leadership’s reasoning they will wait until next month to endorse Town Board candidates.

They did endorse Barb Nuchereno for the position of Amherst Town Judge.