WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The United States Senate declared an official day of mourning on Wednesday to mark the impending return of Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) to the legislative body.
Ordering all flags at the U.S. Capitol to half-staff, the Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, announced the day of mourning in a somber proclamation. “We mark this day with a deep personal sense of loss that will never completely heal,” he said.
To recognize Cruz’s return, which is expected to be imminent, McConnell said that the Senate would suspend all work for the day. “Ordinarily our members would welcome a day off,” he said. “But not for this.”
In a rare moment of consensus for this bitterly divided chamber, both Republicans and Democrats expressed their sorrow, but the news of Cruz’s return seemed to cut the deepest among Republicans, many of whom now regret their decision not to endorse the Texas senator for President.
“If that bastard had somehow been elected President, we would have only had to see him one day a year, at the State of the Union,” Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) said. “I should have done everything in my power to make that happen. And now it’s too damn late.”
“We have to respect the will of the voters, but they didn’t think about the devastating effect this would have on us,” the usually stoic McConnell said, his voice quavering. “There’s a real human cost to this.”
Roy W. Clare, 90-year-old chorus director and music teacher, will retire at the end of the school year, after 57 years teaching middle schoolers.
Why now, when he’s still in good health and still enjoys the job? Former Williamsville Superintendent Howard Smith told him several years ago he would know when it would be the right time to retire. Today, he feels it in his gut.
“There’s a feeling,” Clare said, who has become a tradition with more than a half century of institutional knowledge. “Retirement to me is a feeling. You’ll know when it’s time. I have had all of the components in place for years. When it’s time to pull the plug, it’s time to pull the plug, you just feel it.”
U.S. letter carriers have collected more than 1 billion pounds of food on their annual food drives, and the next drive will take place May 14.
This will be the 24th annual Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive. Last year, more than 71 million pounds of food was collected by postal carriers nationally, feeding an estimated 30 million people.
The food drive comes at a time when the shelves at many food pantries are depleted, putting them in jeopardy of entering the summer low on supplies.
To participate, leave a non-perishable food donation in a bag by your mailbox on May 14, and it will be picked up by your letter carrier.
Examination of seized emails prompts queries for Michalek
State and federal investigators have questioned at least one State Supreme Court justice in recent days in the nearly year-old probe into Buffalo political operative G. Steven Pigeon’s campaign finance activities, according to three sources familiar with the situation.
State and federal investigators last week questioned Justice John A. Michalek, who was elected in 2008 to a second 14-year term, the sources said.
Gerald J. Whalen, presiding justice of the Appellate Division, would not comment late Tuesday when asked whether any members of his court had been questioned in the probe.
The reports surfaced as indications that the pace of the probe has quickened in recent days, nearly a year after investigators conducted raids with search warrants at the waterfront home of Pigeon and others in the area.
The sources indicate that the questions for the judge stemmed from examination of emails on computers seized at Pigeon’s home.
None of the sources wanted to be identified.
Trump used a garbage tabloid as a source to accuse Ted Cruz’s father of being with Lee Harvey Oswald half an hour before Oswald assassinated President JFK. Trump based these accusation on a fuzzy photo in the National Enquirer.
I have heard rumors that Trump’s last accusation against Cruz was to draw attention away from one of Trump’s older family members.
The Donald now has a clear path to be the Republican nomination for President of the Untied States since Ted Cruz dropped out of the race.
Sheldon Silver, the definition of Albany power spanning two decades, this afternoon was sentenced to 12 years in prison for tapping into his extraordinary influence over state government to personally enrich himself.
He also was ordered to forfeit $5,179,106.12 from proceeds from his crimes, according to tweets from Newsday in the courtroom, and was fined an additional $1.75 million.
Silver, 72, will surrender July 1
U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara said on Twitter just after the sentencing: “Today’s stiff sentence is a just and fitting end to Sheldon Silver’s long career of corruption.”
In urging a significant sentence, one of the federal prosecutors, according to media accounts, summed up Silver’s actions: “Just pure greed.’’
Over 1,100 children in our area have lead levels, high enough to cause brain damage. These children live mainly on the west side of Buffalo as well as the east side.
I grew up on the lower west side of Buffalo. I understand and witnessed many young people who suffered from brain disorders. I never understood why they were so moody or angry.
Many people watching TV during the news question why there are so many shootings and killings on the east and west sides of Buffalo. Maybe we can understand if we realize that many of the people who are doing the killing grew up with lead as a staple in their diet. These children, as they grew up, act very irrationally. They are unaware that their actions might be the end product of a mind messed up by lead.
Children who are not treated for this horrible condition may end up breaking into your home in the suburbs. Now is the time to spend the money to help all children suffering from this treatable condition. Don’t let any government body allow this serious problem to continue.
The public must make a serious outcry to save all children. We must stop the harm them may do to themselves or to others.
This was a well deserved award for all nurses who have given so much relieve to the sick and suffering.
May GOD bless every good nurse.