Zuckerberg Vows Facebook Will Shoot Down Google Drones

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MENLO PARK, CA (The Borowitz Report)—One day after Google outbid Facebook for a manufacturer of solar-powered drones, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg served warning that his company was prepared to blow Google’s drones out of the skies.

At a presentation for Facebook employees at the company’s headquarters in Menlo Park, Zuckerberg announced plans to build a $24 billion Facebook laser shield, a global network of satellites capable of identifying and incinerating Google drones in midair.

Zuckerberg delighted his audience with a brief animated demonstration showing a Facebook satellite locking in on a Google drone and obliterating it with a green laser.

“Unfriended, bitch,” said Zuckerberg, to a roaring ovation from his employees.

Within an hour, Google responded with a stern warning of is own, vowing, “Any act of aggression against Google drones will not stand.”

To that end, the company announced that it was prepared to shoot down Facebook’s laser satellites with a long-range super cannon called Google Gun.

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[WNYDrillingDefense] Anti-Frack Events in Monroe & Chautauqua Counties – Please spread the word

no frack

Triple Divide: A New Film About Fracking

Thursday, April 17, 2014 at 7:00 p.m.

Flying Squirrel Community Space, 285 Clarissa St. Rochester, NY

FREE / Open to the public

[Poster attached]

The Times Leader calls Triple Divide “a bombshell that could
reverberate across the state.”

Organizations United for the Environment calls Triple Divide“the very best documentary on fracking on our environment. You must see this film.”

Triple Divide is Public Herald’s first investigations into inevitable, negative impacts from shale gas industrial development and how those impacts are handled by the state, specifically the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Protection. Narrated with help from actor and advocate Mark Ruffalo, major findings include stark negligence and endangerment of public and environmental health due to shale gas extraction. But some Pennsylvanians, fed up with corruption and destruction, won’t ‘go down’ without a fight.

Sponsored by Food & Water Watch, Rochesterians Concerned About Unsafe Shale-gas Extraction (R-CAUSE),

New Yorkers Against Fracking, and Western NY Drilling Defense.

To find out more or to get involved, contact Rita at ryelda@fwwatch.org.

—————————–

Don’t Frack Chautauqua County
THURSDAY, APRIL 24TH at 7 PM
Unitarian Universalist Church
1255 Prendergast Avenue, Jamestown, NY 14701
[Just off Buffalo Street, across from Lakeview Cemetery.
There is parking available behind the building.]

Fracking is a natural gas drilling technique that goes miles underground to break up shale rock using water, sand, and toxic chemicals. In Pennsylvania, residents living in areas with fracking operations have reported flammable tap water, unexplained health problems, increased municipal costs, devasted and unusable farmland, degradation of air quality, huge increases in truck traffic, road spreading of dangerous fracking waste, and the list goes on.

Several counties across New York have stepped up to protect their residents against fracking and fracking waste – NOW IT’S CHAUTAUQUA COUNTY’S TURN.

Join us for a county-wide open meeting where we will be discussing the campaign to ban fracking and fracking waste in Chautauqua County to protect our future, our health, and our livelihood. We will be meeting on Thursday, April 24th at 7pm at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Jamestown, NY. All are welcome! For more information or to get involved, contact Rita at ryelda@fwwatch.org.

Help spread the word by inviting your friends on Facebook!
http://bit.ly/chaut-co

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The Easter Egg Hunt Was a Huge Success

easter eggs

On Sunday as I was driving home from church I noticed a large group of children dressed up in cute Easter outfits.  Then I remembered it was the Easter egg hunt sponsored by the Village of Williamsville.  Howard Cadmus, the owner of the Red Mill and Sweet Jenny’s, provided special prizes for those who found the “golden eggs,”.

I parked the car and watched the kids having a happy, hopping time looking for eggs.  It was pure joy watching our kids having such a wonderful time.

At this egg hunt there were Golden Eggs to be found.  They brought the lucky children who found them a beautiful Easter basket created by Sweet Jenny’s and the Red Mill.  The basket had chocolate and delicious candies.

There were 3 age classes where children could win a golden egg.  They were divided by age groups: 3 and under, 5-6  and age 7.  The entire event was a knockout!

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A Borowitz “Bit”

Andy Borowitz

LAKE MARY, FLORIDA – Florida officials shot five bears today involved in a bear attack. According to an official, “In Florida, we have zero tolerance for attacking a human being — unless you’re another human being, of course.”

The elections in Afghanistan show widespread fraud, which means that the transition to American democracy is complete.

New Concerns About Putin's State of Mind as Photo Emerges of Him Wearing Clothes

New concerns about Putin’s state of mind as photo emerges of him wearing clothes.

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News From Our Area

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Amherst’s Arts & Culture in Public Places Board has announced the winners of its inaugural Amherst Awards for the Arts.

Nominations were accepted in six separate categories. The winners are:

• Christian Brandjes, individual artist;
• Amherst Symphony Orchestra, arts organization;
• Marilyn Ciancio, behind the scenes;
• Philip Morey, individual supporter;
• Daemen College, business supporter; and
• Harrison Graser, youth.

Winners will be honored at a luncheon next month at MusicalFare Theatre on Daemen College’s campus. Janet Snyder, the morning host of Kiss 98.5, will serve as emcee.

Here is a list of meetings to be held this week:

• A meeting of the Amherst Veterans Committee begins at 5:30 p.m. Monday in the Amherst Municipal Building, 5583 Main St.

• The Williamsville Village Board meets at 7:30 p.m. Monday in Village Hall, 5565 Main St.

• The Arts & Culture in Public Places Board meets at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday in the Municipal Building.

• Amherst’s Recycling and Waste Committee meets at 7 p.m. Wednesday in the Municipal Building.

• The Amherst Planning Board meets at 6:30 p.m. Thursday in the Municipal Building.

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‘Space Monday’: Total Lunar Eclipse, Rocket Launch, Brush With Mars

total Lunar Eclipse

Attention stargazers! You’re about to be treated to a series of space spectacles.

Space Monday,” as astronomers have dubbed it, kicks off in the late afternoon when SpaceX, the private spaceflight company, is planning a rocket launch.

After sunset, attention turns to Mars, which will pass within 57 million miles of Earth — its closest approach since January 2008, according to Space.com.

The sky show continues on April 15 at 1:58 a.m. EDT, when a full moon passes through Earth’s amber shadow, producing a full lunar eclipse visible across North America.
Read more…

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ADClub Meeting

democrat

Amherst Democratic Club

Monday, April 28, 2014   7 -11 p.m.

Loughran’s Restaurant – 4543 Main Street

Snyder, New York

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Stop in to meet with fellow Democrats
Discussion of Amherst issues and candidates.

We’ll discuss upcoming races,
government issues and affairs.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Come on Down!

Questions, contact Dan Ward at 444 – 5326 or
djw159159@gmail.com

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Nation Stunned to Learn Congress Accomplished Something Fifty Years Ago

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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans were in a state of shock this past week after learning that Congress had accomplished something fifty years ago.

Although the incident was widely reported throughout the week, the revelation that Congress had achieved something positive and substantial for the country a half century ago left many incredulous and baffled.

Adding to their disbelief were reports that the accomplishment came as the result of collaboration between a Democrat in the White House and Republicans in Congress.

Making the scenario even more far-fetched, politicians of both parties came to an agreement without the interference of corporate paymasters operating them like puppets.

Tracy Klugian, thirty-four, was one of many Americans who found “the whole thing hard to swallow.”

“I searched for it on Google, and it’s true: Congress did actually get something done for the good of the country and all,” he said. “Still, when I first heard about it, it sounded like a hoax.”

Above: President Lyndon Johnson signing the Civil Rights Act, 1964. Photograph courtesy Cecil Stoughton, White House Press Office.

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You Are Invited to The Irishman’s 7th Birthday Party

The Irishman Pub and Eatery is Celebrating

Our 7th BIRTHDAY!!!!!

We will be celebrating all week Sunday April 13th – Saturday April 19th

Join us for our $20.07 Specials (2007 was the year we were “born”)

Enjoy lunch for two for $20.07

 Choose any two lunches from our specially prepared birthday menu

 (Soda, coffee or tea included) 

Our Inclusive $20.07 “Birthday Dinner Package”

Start with your choice of a seasonal green salad OR potato leek soup

(Irish Onion soup add $1.00)

Choose One Entrée from Our Specially Prepared “Birthday” Menu

Complete your meal with our Chef’s Choice “Pint Size” Dessert

 

You Are INVITED to our Birthday Party!!!!

Come Celebrate with us!!!

WHEN: Thursday April 17th

WHERE: The Irishman Pub and Eatery

5601 Main Street in Williamsville

Time: 5 pm-?

Chris Maloney @ 7 pm

Drink Features

Complimentary Hor d, oeurves

  

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Geologists Link Small Quakes to Fracking

no frack

Geologists in Ohio have for the first time linked earthquakes in a geologic formation deep under the Appalachians to hydraulic fracturing, leading the state to issue new permit conditions Friday in certain areas that are among the nation’s strictest.

A state investigation of five small tremors last month in the Youngstown area, in the Appalachian foothills, found the injection of sand and water that accompanies hydraulic fracturing, or fracking, in the Utica Shale may have increased pressure on a small, unknown fault, said State Oil & Gas Chief Rick Simmers. He called the link “probable.”
Read more…

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