Andy Borowitz has been on vacation. He was supposed to be gone for the month of August, but he couldn’t stand it any longer. There is so much fodder for him to troll through. Enjoy ~
Yes, I know I’m supposed to be on vacation, but Rick Perry.
Rick Perry said today that ISIS may have already gotten into the US by crossing our border with Mexico. So I guess they got into Mexico by crossing Mexico’s border with Syria? #myheadhurts
Perry: ISIS Plotting to Seize Texas’s Oil
MANCHESTER, NH – Texas Gov. Rick Perry said today that ISIS militants were preparing to invade Texas from Mexico in the hopes of seizing the state’s bounteous supply of oil. Perry pointed with pride to his record of keeping Texas safe from Islamist militants during his entire tenure in office, but said he fears that lax border enforcement has left Texas’s oil wells vulnerable to seizure from Mexico-based ISIS. “Make no mistake,” he said. “When someone invades another country, it’s for oil.”
Prediction: in the 2016 GOP primary, Jeb Bush will position himself as the “not in prison” candidate.
I would think that the people who hate everything Obama does on the job would want him to take as long a vacation as possible. #confused
FACT CHECK: During his Presidency, Obama has taken 125 vacation days. By comparison, George W. Bush invaded Iraq for no reason.
Critics Blast Obama’s Three Meals a Day
G.O.P. chief Reince Priebus ripped President Obama on Sunday for consuming three meals a day while on vacation in Martha’s Vineyard.
“With international crises boiling over in Iraq, Syria, and Ukraine, it’s unconscionable that the President is having breakfast, lunch, and dinner,” he said.
The White House defended the President’s eating habits, noting that his predecessor, George W. Bush, frequently supplemented his three meals a day with an afternoon snack, but Priebus was unmoved by this argument. “It sends a very dangerous message to our enemies to see President Obama eating,” he said.