Andy’s Take on Issues

Andy Borowitz

TODAY’S GRATITUDE THOUGHT: No matter how much you’re dreading going back to work today, your job can’t be as bad as Obama’s.

Former House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, on joining an investment bank: “I’m excited to continue my life’s work of helping the rich get richer.”

Look, all Obama has to do in Syria is figure out how to destroy ISIS without helping the brutal Assad regime which has killed thousands of people. WHAT ON EARTH IS TAKING HIM SO LONG??? #confused

Lindsey Graham says we must get involved in Syria without delay. I sincerely hope this means he’s enlisting.

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Millionaires Unite to Defeat Minimum Wage

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – A broad-based coalition of millionaires converged on Washington today to defeat a bill that would have increased the minimum wage for American workers to $10.10 an hour.

Leaving behind their mansions and yachts, the millionaires were motivated by what they saw as an existential threat to the country, Mitch McConnell, a spokesman for the millionaires, said.

“This was an extremely diverse coalition,” McConnell said, noting that everyone from the rich to the very rich to the super-rich united to vote down the bill.

McConnell hoped that today’s vote would burnish the millionaires’ reputation as “people who get things done.”

“Folks who have tried to pin a ‘do nothing’ label on us are dead wrong,” he said. “When it comes to stopping workers from being paid more, we spring into action.”

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Furious Obama Says Calls to Putin Going Straight to Voice Mail

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what he called “a provocative and defiant act,” President Obama charged on Tuesday that Russian President Vladimir Putin has started letting his calls go directly to voice mail.

Speaking at the White House before this week’s NATO summit, a visibly furious Obama said that Putin’s new practice of letting his calls go straight to voice mail “hampers our ability to discuss the future of Ukraine and other important issues going forward.”

Having left dozens of voice mails for the Russian President, Obama said that he tried to reach him via e-mail on Monday night but received an out-of-office auto reply.

“Given what he has been up to in Ukraine over the past few weeks, I find it impossible believe he has been out of the office,” Obama said.

The President hinted that Putin’s failure to respond to his voice mails could result in additional sanctions and signaled that he did not intend to call the Russian President again. “I have left my last voice mail for him,” he said, adding that the last time he called Putin his mailbox was full.

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WNY Iraq Afghanistan Memorial Dedication

Iraq Afghanistan memorial

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Kathy Hochul ~ The Best Choice For Lt. Governor

Hochul and Cuomo
Kathy Hochul Is Running For Lt-Governor

Next Tuesday, September 9th, is Primary Day.  Kathy Hochul is entering an area where they don’t appreciate a woman of deep honesty and kindness.  Kathy is a lady who will go all the way to help her constituents solve their problem.  Her bright face means she is ready to fight like hell to get the right things done for the people she represents.

If New Yorkers are smart they will get to know Kathy is a genuine and honest person.   She is a lady who will stand up for  she  what she believes is best for the people of New York.  The people of New York must know that if she believes the Governor is wrong they will hear her voice speak out against him.
Amherst and Western New Yorkers trust her and love her for all she has done for them.  This kind of trust and love will spread throughout the rest of New York if they give her the chance.
The people of New York have the opportunity to elect a lady who will be fighting for them from the day she enters office.
by James Tricoli
Editor: amhersttimes.com

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The Family Room in Amherst- a Fun and Educational Place for Kids and Parents to Socialize

It’s Labor Day and that means it won’t be long until pre-school age children will be driving their parents/grandparents/babysitters a bit bonkers as the cooler weather keeps them all indoors.  What to do?

There is a solution in Amherst called The Family Room and there are two locations — the Harlem Road Community Center and the Northtown Center.  They’re open to all families year-round, for a moderate annual fee for families.  Parents say they love it the most during Buffalo’s long winters.

At the Northtown Center location, there’s not only the Learning Center room, but also the “Big Room.” That’s where the kids can run, jump, climb, drive and eventually tucker themselves out!

The Family Room is not a daycare. It’s a place where mom, dads, grandparents and caregivers stay with their kids to play and socialize.
Read more…

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Happy Labor Day

Women's Auxiliary Typographical Union.

After the first celebration in New York City, other localities began to pick up the idea for a fall festival of parades and picnics celebrating workers. Here, the Women’s Auxiliary Typographical Union takes part in a Labor Day parade 

Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.

The first Labor Day holiday was celebrated on Tuesday, September 5, 1882, in New York City, in accordance with the plans of the Central Labor Union. The Central Labor Union held its second Labor Day holiday just a year later, on September 5, 1883.

In 1884 the first Monday in September was selected as the holiday, as originally proposed, and the Central Labor Union urged similar organizations in other cities to follow the example of New York and celebrate a “workingmen’s holiday” on that date. The idea spread with the growth of labor organizations, and in 1885 Labor Day was celebrated in many industrial centers of the country.
Read more…

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An Evening in the Village

One week from today is the Village of Williamsville Business Association‘s Evening in the Village. From 5 to 9 p.m. on Sat., Sept. 6, shoppers have a special invitation to stroll Main Street and check out what our unique merchants have to offer.  Hope to see you there!

One week from today is the Village of Williamsville Business Association's Evening in the Village. From 5 to 9 p.m. on Sat., Aug. 6, shoppers have a special invitation to stroll Main Street and check out what our unique merchants have to offer. Hope to see you there!

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Steven Meyer’ Fundraiser ~ Huge Success Plus A Good Time

party

Steven Meyer’s fundraiser last evening was a huge success.  It had a great mix of people.  There were many college students, friends of Steven; there were at least 8 Supreme court candidates.

Steven’s father and his father’s friends were a strong presence.  ADC Chairman Jerry Schad was present representing the Amherst Democratic Committee, besides 4 other members of the ADC.

Members of the outlawed group Schad removed from his ADC were there to represent the Amherst Democratic Club, which was the first group to endorse Steven Meyer for the New York Assembly.

The primary race on September 9th is when Steven has his primary race.  The voters sometimes overlook some of the newer candidates in a primary race.  Please don’t.  These are the people who want to represent your neighborhood.

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Nation Debates Extremely Complex Issue of Children Firing Military Weapons

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Across the United States on Wednesday, a heated national debate began on the extremely complex issue of children firing military weapons.

“Every now and then, the nation debates an issue that is so complicated and tricky it defies easy answers,” says pollster Davis Logsdon. “Letting small children fire automatic weapons is such an issue.”

Logsdon says that the thorny controversy is reminiscent of another ongoing national debate, about whether it is a good idea to load a car with dynamite and drive it into a tree.

“Many Americans think it’s a terrible idea, but others believe that with the correct supervision, it’s perfectly fine,” he says. “Who’s to say who’s right?”

Similar, he says, is the national debate about using a flamethrower indoors. “There has been a long and contentious national conversation about this,” he says. “It’s another tough one.”

Much like the long-running national debates about jumping off a roof, licking electrical sockets, and gargling with thumbtacks, the vexing question of whether children should fire military weapons does not appear headed for a swift resolution.

“Like the issue of whether you should sneak up behind a bear and jab it with a hot poker, this won’t be settled any time soon,” he says.

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