NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump has surged ahead of Hillary Clinton in a new poll conducted by Trump’s brain.
The poll, taken after Trump’s brain perceived that he demolished Clinton in the third and final Presidential debate, shows him ahead of Clinton, sixty-four per cent to thirty-one per cent.
In a sign that his criticism of Clinton has been just fantastic, a majority of imaginary voters in Trump’s head agree that she is a “nasty woman,” with more than seventy per cent calling her “crooked,” “sad,” and a “disgrace.”
In more incredibly amazing good news for the G.O.P. nominee, Trump’s brain reports that his standing with women has markedly improved, with ninety per cent calling him “extremely handsome” and “sexy.”
According to Trump’s brain, the poll has no margin of error, absolutely none, it’s a tremendous poll, you just can’t believe how great this poll is.
A Nation Gripped By Addiction
We are a nation gripped by a widespread addiction to opioids, in part because of the governments ‘war on drugs’ and its clamp down on the illicit use of pharmaceuticals. It is estimated that approximately 2.1 million people in the United States are addicted to opioids: this could be either legally obtainable pain pills, or illegal substances such as heroin, which is also classed as an opioid. As the government applied tighter restrictions on the prescription of pharmaceutical opioids for excessive periods of time back in 2011 (in a bid to control this epidemic of addiction) an unfortunate knock on affect is that people instead turned to the Black Market to secure their pills (something that is much more prevalent in areas such as New York State where many of these opioids are being manufactured) or turning to heroin, which has the same effect as prescription opioids but is more inexpensive to obtain. A knock on effect is that in 2016 we have seen what CBS News have coined as an “alarming 20 year high” in the number of heroin users in the United States, asserting that “heroin is the deadliest drug worldwide, and said its increasing use in the U.S. is of particular concern. There were about one million heroin users in the U.S. as of 2014, almost three times the number in 2003. Deaths related to heroin use have increased five-fold since 2000.“
The Drug Crisis in Amherst
This year, Amherst has faced up to the growing crisis of drug use within its borders: in 2015, 17 people died in the town as a result of drug overdose. At a town meeting back in January, the town committed to tackling the issue head on and, according to a report by WKBW News, town officials and residents “came together to talk about the topic, and search for solutions…Parents whose kids are not addicted to drugs also attended the meeting. They said it was a wake-up call, and they’re glad it’s being discussed.” Amherst now ensures that its facilities to tackle drug abuse head on (including its rehabilitation programs and facilities) are more widely publicized across the region, particularly within its schools, and the town has committed to talking about the issue, rather than shying away from it as so many other districts often choose to do.
Widespread Negative Implications
However this is a crisis that shows no signs of abating. With increasing numbers of people using drugs and alcohol in the workplace, a dire risk that according to rehabs.com could subject employees to “to a greater potential for accident and injury”, and the number of addicts losing their jobs as a result of an addiction, the wide spread implications of our national drug addiction are only continuing to grow. The UN Deputy Secretary General Jan Eliasson said reported that the rise in drug trafficking and organized criminal networks as a result of this epidemic are undermining laws, fuelling violence and feeding corruption. More Americans now die every year from drug overdoses than they do in motor vehicle crashes. Clearly, then, it’s time that we find a solution and tackle the problem head on: government needs to adopt new strategies for dealing with addiction, and the mental health problems it often causes, by allocating funding for treatment for all sufferers, and by following the example set by Amherst and continuing to talk openly about the problem.
by Emma Crosby (emma
Williamsville reported Friday that the first batch of test results coming in to the district showed lead over 15 parts per billion at three classroom fountains at Country Parkway elementary school, along with seven outdoor faucets and two shower/locker rooms. At Forest Elementary, two classroom faucets and two student bathrooms showed lead over 15 ppb.
“Those outlets will be remediated and retested by the certified laboratory before being used again,” the Williamsville district announced on its website. “Remediation may include changing the faucet/fixture, adding filtration, or adding appropriate labeling to certain fixtures as non-drinking water outlets such as custodial sinks and outside water faucets. Bottled water will be available for student and staff use if necessary.”
Mr. Robert McCarthy, head of Human Resources, was to get information about what neighboring towns were increasing their elected officials salary for in the coming year, 2017. He failed to contact any of the local towns, therefore there wasn’t any basis for what should be the increases in salary for Amherst’s elected officials in the 2017 budget.
The method the Town Board chose to increase the pay of our elected officials was without any basis.
Usually the Town decided if elected officials would get an increase in pay was by forming a committee to make decisions about what the raises would be. This year we did not follow that format and simply gave the job to Mr. McCarthy, who didn’t do the job at all.
We need to find a better way.
By: James Tricoli
- It helps you detox every day: While lemons may seem quite acidic, they’re a surprisingly good source of an alkaline food that can help balance your body’s pH; internist and doctor of integrative medicine Dr. Frank Lipman is a big proponent of a hot water with lemon habit, since the combination wakes up your liver and flushes out nasty toxins.
- It wakes up your digestive tract: This simple yet powerful beverage stimulates your gastrointestinal tract — improving your body’s ability to absorb nutrients all day and helping food pass through your system with ease.
- It supports weight loss: Lemon juice contains pectin, a soluble fiber that has been shown to aid in weight-loss struggles. And if you’ve been sipping on a cup of tea loaded with sugar or honey every morning, this beverage will slash calories from your daily diet.
- It soothes an upset tummy: When you go to bed on a full stomach, pesky heartburn or a bloated belly can get in the way of your morning. Hot water cleanses your system, while the flavonoids from lemon juice may help reduce acidity in your stomach, so you feel like yourself sooner.
“Tim Hortons is beloved in Western New York and around the world, so we are thrilled to bring it to Buffalo Niagara International Airport,” said Kevin Kelly, president of Delaware North’s travel group. “With its iconic coffee and expansive menu of high-quality baked goods and breakfast offerings, we will be giving travelers convenient access to a local favorite and a true taste of the region.”
The new cafe will add to the array of existing food offerings at the airport, including Lake Erie Grille, Anchor Bar, Villa Italian Kitchen, Coffee Beanery, Blue Zone, Checkers, Freshens, Queen City Kitchen, Matties Texas Red Hots, Buf Bar and Which Wich. Buffalo-based Delaware North has operated the food, beverage and retail services at the airport since 1952.
Watch games from the NFL, MLB and NHL, among others, at Buffalo Brew Pub.
The Buffalo Brew Pub — which is celebrating its 30th anniversary is a true hybrid brew pub/sports bar. It’s the best of both worlds. If the game you’re watching starts to head south, the great beer and food are excellent fall back options. (Or, simply overload on the free popcorn and peanuts.)
Obviously, beer is king. The ever-changing menu of 34 tap beers is updated every few days with a good mix of local and New York State beers and long-time favorites. Four house beer are always on tap and worthy of your attention.
Buffalo Brew Pub subscribes to sports packages for its multiple TVs (with the exception of the NBA and UFC).
On Sundays, main televisions are tuned to the Bills game with the remainder to other NFL games for the out-of-town folks who stop in from nearby hotels. (In other words, don’t ask the staff to change a channel. Move to another TV to find your game.)
Use of Narcan Spreads Throughout New York State
In May 2014, firefighters in Buffalo became the latest first responders department in the state of New York to introduce the drug Narcan to its kit for saving lives. The drug is used to save the lives of those suffering from an opiate overdose. In a report on The Buffalo News website, the city’s Mayor, Byron W. Brown, announced that “All of the city’s firefighters recently completed the required training in administering the drug, which will be carried on all the Buffalo Fire Department’s first response apparatus”, going on to say that although the obvious aim is to rid the streets of Buffalo of drugs, firefighters and police officers are also there to save lives. The introduction of the drug to firefighters’ kit follows its introduction to Buffalo’s police department in February 2014. The drug has been carried by first response professionals in nearby Amherst since December 2013.
What is Narcan?
In science terms, Narcan, also known as Naloxone, the RxList website identifies the drug as being used for “complete or partial reversal of opioid depression, including respiratory depression, induced by natural and synthetic opioids” and also “for diagnosis of suspected or known acute opioid overdosage.” Narcan can be given intravenously, intramusculary or subcutaneously. Russell Barbera has said that it is “a prescription drug used to reverse the effects of a heroin overdose”, but points out that it can also be used to reverse the effects of other opiates. Rebecca Vogt explains that the drug prevents “opioids from reaching receptors in the brain and nervous system that would normally suppress breathing” and explains that in Buffalo, firefighters will be administering the drug via a two dose nasal spray, with one dose administered in each nostril. The Gates-Chili Post reports that the training take three hours for each officer to undertake, and permits them to teach other in the administration of Narcan.
Narcotics use in the state of New York.
The timing of introducing Narcan to first response officers might be appropriate. J. David Goodman recently reported that “Roughly 35 percent of heroin seized by the Drug Enforcement Administration nationwide since October was confiscated by agents in New York State”, and that previously, “the state has accounted for about one-fifth of heroin seizures nationwide.” Goodman also states that the level of heroin coming into New York City is at its highest for two decades. In light of the New York heroin epidemic, Dave Lucas reports that officials from the national drug control policy is planning to meet with New York State Police and local governments “to help create the first-ever heroin tracking database.” The database will “identify patterns, crack down on heroin rings across county lines, target resources to high crime areas, determine which drugs are more sought after, and pinpoint necessary security changes in drug distribution networks.” Between the creation of this database, and first response officers being trained and equipped with a life saving drug, it appears the state of New York’s battle with heroin is very much alive.
For residents of New York state who might be concerned about friends or family using heroin, or any other narcotics, it may be comforting to know that there are plenty of resources available throughout the state that can provide the help, support and advice needed to successfully treat those suffering from addiction. One such resource is Treatment 4 Addiction, which “includes information on inpatient facilities and drug detoxification centers, as well as aftercare options such as sober living homes and outpatient programs.” In Amherst, the Sisters of Charity Hospital has its own drug rehabilitation department, which provides outpatient counselling and prescription drug treatment programmes.
Although it has only just been introduced in Buffalo, Rebecca Vogt reports that Narcan has already been used in the field by firefighters. According to Fire Commissioner Garnell Whitfield, the first time the drug was used, the casualty had regained consciousness within five minutes and was brought to hospital. Between the introduction of Narcan and the creation of a state-wide database on drug distribution, it’s clear that federal authorities are aware of the rising heroin trade in New York state, and are undertaking steps to counteract this. One can only hope that positive results from these efforts will be seen sooner rather than later.
Williamsville School District is considering changing Columbus Day to Indigenous Peoples Day.
The largest suburban district in Western New York, with about 10,000 students, would follow several smaller districts and communities in designating the day to recognize the history and culture of Native Americans.
Board President Toni Vazquez made the suggestion at the end of Tuesday’s meeting, and the board will discuss it at its next meeting, Dec. 13. She said she had seen a presentation put together by students at Niagara Wheatfield School District, which this year changed the holiday known as Columbus Day to Indigenous Peoples Day.
“I also think it would be a good idea,” she said.