POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ

DAMASCUS (The Borowitz Report)—Supporters of the United States’ twelve-year quagmire in Afghanistan cheered the news today that the U.S. would strive to achieve a seamless transfer of that quagmire to Syria, effective immediately.

Army Gen. Martin Dempsey, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, sought to reassure those who were concerned that the U.S. withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan signalled a wavering of the nation’s commitment to being mired in open-ended military muddles.

“I can tell you, right here and right now, that the U.S. is every bit as determined to engage in an ill-defined, ill-advised and seemingly interminable mission in Syria as we were in Afghanistan,” Gen. Dempsey said. “All that’s changing is the Zip Code.”

General Dempsey said that the same tribal hatreds, sectarian violence, and untrustworthy alliances that made Afghanistan a quicksand-like morass are very much in evidence in Syria: “I am confident that we could be involved in Syria for many, many years before figuring out why we are there.”

Harland Dorrinson, executive director of the National Quagmire Institute, a think tank dedicated to promoting the United States’ involvement in intractable conflicts around the globe, said he found General Dempsey’s words about Syria reassuring: “I felt a lot better after hearing what he had to say, and I know a lot of defense contractors felt the same way.”

There had been a rumor concerning Tricia Dunne considering stepping back from running for the Amherst Town Board.  I’ve been following that rumor and find it to be groundless.

Tricia is in it to win it.

Dear Neighbor;

My name is EJ Butler and on Tuesday June 25th my wife Karen and I will be holding an event at our home in support of Amherst Town Supervisor candidate Mark Manna. Mark, as many of you know, is a Snyder resident, current town council member, and has been an outspoken advocate for the preservation of Mike’s Pond.

Mark has committed that once elected supervisor he will support legislation that would forbid construction of projects the size and scope of the proposed Hyatt Place development in areas that sit in close proximity to established residential settings and threaten the safety, security, property values and peaceful enjoyment of our neighborhoods here in Snyder, as well as throughout Greater Amherst.

Mark has also pledged to include the concerns and voices of residents in the necessary discussions as to how best to grow the economic profile of Amherst without sacrificing the things most important to all of us that are now being threatened by ill conceived and reckless commercial construction projects that not only drive down the value of our homes but also threaten the health and well being of our families, especially our children.

I know that it isn’t always easy to break away at the end of the day, especially for those of us with kids. But maybe one of you can make it, or bring the kids since a lot of what Mark hopes to do as Supervisor will be to ensure we hand over to them a community in at least as good a shape as we all found it. Green. Quiet. Safe.

But don’t take my word for it, come and meet Mark and see for yourself if you agree he’s in your corner when it comes to doing the right thing for Snyder. There will be good food and a lot of your fellow neighbors who are coming together to support Mark and ensure we return the future of Snyder back to where it belongs….TO YOU! Thank you for your support and we hope to see you on the 25th.

When: Tuesday June 25th (rain or shine)
Where: 22 Livingston Parkway (at corner of Harper)
Time: 5:30-7:30 PM
Dress: Casual
Requested Campaign Donation: $75 per person; $99 per couple

CHECKS MAY BE MADE PAYABLE TO: “FRIENDS OF MARK MANNA

The battle between developers of the Iskalo Hyatt and Snyder residents has been raging on for over one year.  And yet another skirmish is scheduled to occur this Tuesday at a 7p meeting of the Amherst Zoning Board of Appeals.

It was a year ago, on May 15, 2012, when the ZBA voted, in a precedent-setting manner, to overturn a determination of the town’s Building Commissioner that no structure exceeding the 2-story height of the Lord Amherst would be allowed on the small, oddly shaped commercial parcel located behind the Lord Amherst itself.  This was the first time the ZBA overturned a determination by the building commissioner.

Ever.

The Amherst building department had previously told residents of Livingston Parkway, a densely populated street nestled behind the historic gates at Main and Smallwood, that this commercial parcel, when developed, was restricted to buildings not to exceed 2 stories. The Building Department told Iskalo the same exact thing shortly after Iskalo bought the property in August  2011.

No building over 2 stories.

Not allowed.

The ZBA has two distinct functions.  To rule on zoning variances and to hear appeals of certain administrative decisions made by Town officials.

Iskalo filed an appeal with the ZBA in March 2012 to overturn the commissioner’s height limit.  The parcel’s underlying zoning, without the restriction, would have permitted a 6-story building.    Town Building Department officials told the residents that there was “no way” the ZBA would approve such a thing.   “I’ve been here for 37 years.  The ZBA has never overruled the Commissioner.”

Ever

No homeowner had a problem with the 2 story limit when they moved here and no current owner has a problem with a 2 story commercial building today.  The Lord Amherst is not intrusive.  It fits. It is consistent with the surrounding residential use at its two story height.

But, fast forward, and shortly after the last residential parcel had been developed in the neighborhood,   the town of Amherst officials, acting thru their agent, the ZBA, changed the rules, and paved the way for the  6+ story Iskalo Hyatt to proceed.

That was one year ago.

The neighbors sued and the case is on the court docket.

On Tuesday, the Zoning Board will hear an appeal from Livingston Parkway residents, commonly called the Pond Neighbors, to reverse yet another commissioner determination.

Iskalo and the pond neighbors disagree on the size and shape of the Mikes Pond.  The pond is a 2-acre spring fed body of water, owned by the neighbors and is part of their backyards.  Iskalo maintains that the pond is smaller that it is in actuality.

The commissioner has sided with the developer and allowed for the use of Iskalo’s representation of the size and shape of Mikes Pond in the Hyatt site plan.  Because the Hyatt is actually too big for the available land, the use of the Iskalo pond dimensions will result in the Hyatt parking lot being built in the pond. (See attached overlay of the pond survey and the Hyatt site plan.)

The Pond Neighbors are requesting that the ZBA overturn the Commissioners decision to use the Iskalo survey of the pond and to, in its stead, use the owners survey which was approved by the Town Board when it approved the rezoning of Mikes Pond to residential use.

A large contingent from The FRIENDS OF MIKES POND, the red shirt wearing area residents who oppose a 6 story building are expected to be in attendance at the Zoning Board on Tuesday.

Michele Marconi said, “I have no idea what will occur.  But the Zoning board has spent more time debating the sensibility of raising chickens in Eggertsville than they have discussing the impact of the Iskalo Hyatt in Snyder. The ZBA ruling in 2012 on building height was an egregious overstep and is being litigated.  Their ruling on the Iskalo variance requests was arbitrary and capricious and is being litigated.   However, I remain hopeful that we will get a fair and open hearing and that the appropriate decision will be rendered.”

The Town of Amherst ZBA has overruled a commissioner ruling exactly once.

Ever.

And it was on this project and in favor of Iskalo.

Stay tuned.

Written by James Tricoli, Editor  of the Amhersttimes.com

Mr. Chiazza, your comment posted under the “No, No Iskalo” article, cautioning the citizens of Amherst about getting their information about the building of the Hyatt hotel project from the Amhersttimes.com website, is foolish.  You are a deeply involved member of the Hyatt group.  The citizens of Amherst don’t have many resources which tell the truth.  Your attack on the Amhersttimes.com was childish, weak but above all it was a sign of fear.

Anyone who is protecting the image of their powerful company will try to discredit the media.  The Amhersttimes.com is part of the media.  We know we are not perfect and are willing to correct any error we have made, but Dave you haven’t pointed out what I have written about your Hyatt project which was erroneous.  I put out facts concerning the Hyatt Hotel project which I checked out and believe to be true.

The Amhersttimes is part of the Fourth Estate whose main job is to tell the truth to protect the people.

Dave Chiazza, any additional remarks you post which are incorrect concerning information on this web site, will be met with the truth.

This should be a perfect week to get out and share a great night of music and fun on Main Street.  Here is this week’s line up:

Interest Rates Set to Double on July 1^st if Congress Doesn’t Act

Congressman Brian Higgins (NY-26) is urging leadership in the House of Representatives to act quickly to prevent college student loan rates from doubling.  The current interest rate under the Federal Direct Student Loan Program is 3.4 percent.  That number is expected to increase to 6.8 percent on July 1, 2013 unless preventative action is taken.

View video here:

http://youtu.be/cnjEVE1Vq90)

Higgins took his call for action to the House Floor, delivering the following remarks:

“Mr. Speaker, Unless Congress takes action, student loan rates will double on July 1st.

“This is unacceptable. Access to affordable education is one of the most important issues to young people today, yet many graduates find themselves tens of thousands of dollars in debt as they leave school and try to enter the workforce.

“In New York State, 60% of college students graduate with some debt, averaging $27,000.

“Mr. Speaker, I was pleased to sign the discharge petition by Representative Joe Courtney, H.R. 1595, the Student Loan Relief Act, along with over 180 of my colleagues. This legislation would freeze the interest rate at its current 3.4% for the next 2 years.

“It’s time for Republican Leadership to acknowledge the urgency of this legislation and bring it to the Floor. All Americans deserve a fair shot at a good and affordable education.”

Congressman Higgins is a cosponsor of H.R. 1595, the Student Loan Relief Act, which would extend the current interest rate of 3.4% on undergraduate students through July 1, 2015.  He is also among over 180 members of the House signing a discharge petition aimed at forcing a vote on the bill.  Once a discharge petition is signed by a majority of members, 218 in the House, the bill is discharged from committee and brought to the House Floor for a vote.

With college loans totaling $27,000 on average for New York State students, the higher rate of 6.8% would force graduates to pay an additional $5,400 in interest.

More information on Federal Student aid is available at: www.studentloans.gov.

Do you or a loved one have questions about the NYS Elderly Pharmaceutical Insurance Coverage (EPIC) program?

POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ

LOUGH ERNE, NORTHERN IRELAND (The Borowitz Report)—The G8 summit ended today on a constructive note, with President Obama and Russia’s Vladimir Putin reaching a broad agreement never to speak to each other again.“It’s better this way,” said Mr. Obama, frostily standing in the general vicinity of Mr. Putin for the last time ever. “We truly despise each other.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” said Mr. Putin, looking as though he had just smelled something bad. “My hatred of this man knows no bounds.”

According to the agreement, economic coöperation, cyber security, human rights, the war in Syria, and the New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft’s missing Super Bowl ring are among thirty-seven different topics that the two men will never again discuss.

Additionally, at all future summits, if either Mr. Obama or Mr. Putin enters a room the other man will be obligated to leave immediately.

The two men reached agreement on an unprecedented number of points, including never contacting each other via telephone or e-mail and keeping a minimum of five hundred feet away from each other’s residences.

After signing the agreement, the two men shook hands for the final time and scowled bitterly for photographers.

Assemblyman Ray Walter and colleagues vote to restore OPWDD funding.

Assemblyman Ray Walter (R,C,I-Amherst) and his colleagues in the Assembly recently voted to restore the $90 million cut that had been levied upon the Office for People With Developmental Disabilities (OPWDD). The legislators came to an agreement with Gov. Cuomo last week to fully restore the $90 million that was taken away from non-profit organizations that provide critical, cost-effective services to people with developmental disabilities.

“New York State can only be truly strong if we care for those who need our help the most, and these non-profits provide absolutely vital services in a cost-effective manner,” said Walter.  “I swore I would do everything in my power to have these funds restored and, in the end, we prevailed. These families and organizations desperately need this money, and I was proud to see my colleagues finally join me in voting to restore this funding.”

Back in March, Assemblyman Walter implored his colleagues across the aisle to vote with him on an amendment to the budget that would have restored this unfortunate $90 million cut. After hours of debate, only two members of the Majority joined Walter and the Assembly Republicans in voting yes to the reinstatement of funds.