Rick Perry Hopes Combination Of Wearing Glasses and Not Talking Will Make Him Seem Smarter


AUSTIN, Tex. (The Borowitz Report)—With an eye toward a Presidential run in 2016, Rick Perry, the Texas governor, is hoping that a two-pronged strategy of wearing glasses and not speaking will make him appear smarter to voters, aides to the Governor confirmed today.“After the 2012 Republican primary, we knew that we needed to solve what we called the Governor’s smartness problem,” said Harland Dorrinson, an aide to Perry. “The fix that we came up with was glasses, but, as it turned out, that was only half the solution.”

After outfitting Perry with designer eyewear, aides sent him on the road to reintroduce himself to voters, but the response, Mr. Dorrinson said, was underwhelming: “The problem was, he was still talking.”

A round of focus groups convinced aides that only through a combination of wearing glasses and not emitting any sounds could Perry overcome voters’ initial impressions of him.

At a recent political stop in San Antonio, the newly minted Governor Perry was on display, wearing his glasses and gesticulating expressively while saying nothing for thirty minutes.

“Our focus groups show people no longer know what Rick Perry is thinking,” said Mr. Dorrinson. “That’s a huge improvement.”

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Gas Station Owners Feel The Joy Of High Gasoline Prices

gassing up car

Since Holy Week started last Saturday I have noticed the kinder side of people.  I especially want to thank the gas station owners who last week were charging $3.68 a gal.  Now, with more people driving, the price of gas in our neck of the woods has gone up to $3.83.

It appears simple gouging your neighbors as much as you can, because ~ this is Amherst!

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Weppner Selling Yacht


On April 10, Alan Bedenko posted the following:

On her campaign website, Weppner says she’s running for Congress because she’s a

…strong voice for those who have a difficult time speaking for themselves due to inequity in power. She intends to carry that voice to Washington to help overcome the unique challenges facing Western New York.

It’s a silly statement, when you read it. “Inequity in power” doesn’t prevent or stunt someone’s ability to “speak for themselves”. Unless Weppner is advocating for that socialist equality nonsense, it’s hard to know what she’s talking about. I can’t decide if she’s trying to be regular people, or if she’s saying, in effect, that she’s better than regular people – you lumpenproles can rely on her to do your anti-Obama, anti-Kenyan advocacy for you.

In the meantime, I wonder if Weppner is funding her campaign through the sale of her yacht?
Read more…

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Amherst Town Board Proposes Fracking Ban

no frack

Amherst Town Board Proposes Fracking Ban
Monday, April 28, 2014 at 7 p.m.
Town of Amherst Municipal Building
5583 Main Street
Williamsville, NY 14221

The Town Board of Amherst will propose a resolution that could lead to a local ban on fracking, fracking waste disposal, and road spreading of brine in the town at their next meeting — and we need you there to make sure that it passes! Amherst and area residents are encouraged to attend to show your support for an Amherst-wide ban on dangerous fracking and the toxic waste it creates. The board meeting is on Monday, April 28th at 7 p.m.and we need to PACK THE ROOM because your presence encourages the board to vote the right way on the resolution.

You may also prepare 3-minutes of testimony to read in favor of a ban on fracking/fracking waste in Amherst, just be sure to emphasize how these things could impact Amherst residents. Non-Amherst residents are also allowed to testify. Speaking is optional and those wishing to speak should arrive 15 minutes early to sign up.

The town board of Amherst, NY must pass a local ban to safeguard our natural resources and health from the contamination that fracking brings to communities. A ban on fracking & fracking waste disposal (including road spreading) in Amherst would protect residents from exposure to harmful chemicals, airborne carcinogens, and contaminated water. For more information or to get involved, contact Rita at ryelda@fwwatch.org
Join the Facebook event & invite friends: http://bit.ly/amherst01


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Bisons to Host Armed Forces Tribute Day Benefiting Buffalo Naval Park

ArmedForces 2014

Memorial Day is May 26, 2014 and there is a wonderful way to honor and pay tribute to the hundreds of Veterans who live in WNY.

We are only 30 days away from the biggest Veteran’s Sporting event in Buffalo’s history.  The Buffalo Bisons are offering an outstanding opportunity!  There will be a ballgame on May 17 and when it is attended by over 10K fans, this will become an annual event.   Everyone in WNY will want to be a part of this.

You are encouraged to:

1.  Buy tickets

2.  Donate tickets for Veterans and children

3.  Donate to the Naval Park (we are a 501(c)3 organization)

4.  Visit the www.thegoodneighborhood.com website for more information and to order tickets.

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Kaleida Health Foundation News

As ifyou need yet another reason to buy chocolate, Kaleida will be earning $1 for every 16oz. Easter Bunny purchase from Oh Pour L’Amour Du Chocolat located in Snyder NY.

Additional information available: http://www.ohpourlamourduchocolat.com/PourL’AMORE

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Happy Passover

To our friends who celebate:

Happy passover

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Man Accused of Abusing Girls in ‘Maidens Group’


A self-professed minister accused of sexually abusing girls who lived in his Minnesota group’s camp as part of a “Maidens Group” is facing 59 counts of criminal sexual conduct.

Pine County authorities said Tuesday that an arrest warrant has been issued but they’re still looking for 52-year-old Victor Arden Barnard. The sheriff’s office says he was last known to be in the Spokane, Wash., area.

The criminal complaint says the two victims were among several girls and young women who lived apart from their families in a camp that Barnard set up near the town of Finlayson, about 90 miles north of Minneapolis.

One woman says Barnard sexually abused her from the ages of 13 to 22. The other alleges he abused her for years starting when she was 12.

These camps are led by a Svengali type leader who is basically practing white slavey. The girls do what the leader says or else there is pain and many times death.

The above story is one of thousands.  Such camps are ruled by fear.  When someone leaves their home because it is hell for them they often end up living in a home controled by a monster.  If some of these kids can get over their fear and contact the police or someone they can trust their hell may end.

Jim Tricoli:  Editor/Amhersttimes.com

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Pregnant and Engaged Mila Kunis Flaunts Her Baby Bump at the MTV Movie Awards!

2014 MTV Movie Awards - Press Room

Baby bump alert! Mila Kunis attended the MTV Movie Awards without fiancé Ashton Kutcher last night, but she wasn’t completely alone.

By no means is Mila alone in this.

Sad to say, media stars that our young people look up to seem to flaunt their out of wedlock bodies and babies like it’s what everyone does.  It may be more open but I’m not sure that’s the best example for our young people to emulate.

By no means is Mila alone in this.  There’s Jennifer Aniston, Natalie Portman, Kate Hudson, Nicole Richie, Jessica Alba, Ashley Simpson, HalleBerry, Kristina Applegate, Thelma Blair, Jennifer Hudson, Jamie Lynn Spears, Jane Krakowski, Penelope Cruz, Angelina Jolie and Marion Cotillard just to name a few.  Let’s not ignore Diane Keaton and Goldie Hawn.

Don’t forget the gentlemen in this same situation including Matthew McConaughey, Orlando Bloom, Owen Wilson and Mario Lopez.

I have never been a prude but these young unmarried men and women are showing a blatent disrespect for the sanctity of marriage.  Our young people deserve better role models.

Jim Tricoli,Editor Amhersttimes.com

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Amherst Collection Agency Closing in July


And another bites the dust.  An Amherst collection agency will close this summer, putting 121 people out of work.

Primary Financial Services LLC filed a Worker Adjustment and Retraining Notification Act notice with the New York State Department of Labor Monday. The call center, located in suite 100 at 95 John Muir Drive, will close July 11, according to the filing.

Primary Financial Services will keep 13 people in administrative roles in the Buffalo area and consolidate the rest of its work to the Arizona location. CBV will continue to do business in the United States as Primary Financial Services.
Read more…

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