CNN Defends New Slogan

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—The president of CNN Worldwide, Jeff Zucker, attempted on Wednesday to defuse the brewing controversy over his decision to change the network’s official slogan from “The Most Trusted Name in News” to “Holy Crap, We’re All Gonna Die.”

“This exciting new slogan is just one piece of our over-all rebranding strategy,” Zucker said. “Going forward, we want CNN to be synonymous with the threat of imminent death.”

He added that the network expected to see strong ratings growth as a result of having the words “Holy Crap, We’re All Gonna Die” on-screen twenty-four hours a day.

Part of Zucker’s new strategy was on display during Tuesday’s edition of the network’s signature program, “The Situation Room,” in which a visibly ill-at-ease Wolf Blitzer appeared dressed as The Grim Reaper.

“That’s a work in progress,” Zucker said about Blitzer’s makeover. “But once Wolf gets comfortable swinging that scythe, he’s going to be amazing.”

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Town and Village Board Meetings On October 15, 2014

williamsville and Amherst logo

The Amherst Town Board voted to start a half-million dollar drainage project slated to begin next year.  It should be a huge help to the flooding area of northeast Amherst.  Town Board member Ramona D. Popowich supported the Supervisor.  She said the area needs it.  No one spoke from the audience concerning the budget during public expression.

I also attended the 7:30 Village of Williamsville meeting last evening.  That meeting was very informative.  Several residents asked serious questions concerning the future of the village.  Plans explaining what the Village main street area will look like in the future were explained.

The plans are excellent. The buildings planned for the village in the future look dynamic.  The Village Board did a great job in explaining the plans and buildings which will make up Main St. in the Village.

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The 10 Best Places to Retire on Social Security Alone

buffaloskyline

We live in a gem of an area.  U.S. News analyzed Census Bureau and Bureau of Labor Statistics data to determine where a retired couple age 65 or older could cover their basic expenses, including typical costs for housing, food, utilities, transportation and health care, on this amount.  Buffalo NY ranked in the top 10.

Buffalo, New York

If you can tolerate the cold and snowy winters in this upstate New York city, you’ll be rewarded with a very low cost of living. Senior citizen homeowners pay just $466 monthly in housing costs if they have paid off their mortgage and $1,009 monthly if they are still making payments on their home. The typical rent for retirees age 65 and older is $611 monthly. The City of Buffalo also provides a senior discount card that entitles retirees to a percentage off their purchases when they shop at local businesses, including restaurants, salons and pharmacies.
Read more…

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Welcome to the Campaign Website to Elect John J. DelMonte for New York State Supreme Court Justice

 


Editor Amhersttimes.com:  I was angry as hell listening to the choices we have to choose from for New York Supreme Court. Mr. John J. DelMonte was the one person who made any sense.

In 2014, the voters of the 8 counties of Western New York will elect five New York State Supreme Court judges. My 34 years of trial and appellate practice in Supreme Court, coupled with my desire to apply my real life experiences as a trial attorney to the arena of public service, make me an ideal candidate to serve the citizens of Western New York.

Nothing makes me happier than to use my legal experience to help people solve their problems and protect their legal rights. A level playing field and the fair and impartial administration of justice in the courtroom to protect the rights of clients have been my focus throughout my career as an attorney. If elected to State Supreme Court, I will serve the community the way I’ve helped thousands of clients get through challenging legal situations…with dignity and a deep and abiding respect for the rights of parties looking to the courts for a fair and just resolution of their legal matters.

I am prepared for the challenging work of being a dedicated and committed judge and would be honored to have your vote in support of my efforts to serve you, your family and community on the Supreme Court bench.

As the campaign progresses, we will keep you informed of our events and how you can help.

For now, I invite you to take a few minutes to explore my website and learn a little about me and why I am running for judge.

If you’d like to learn more, please feel free to give me a call, send an e-mail, or stop by and visit.  I’d love to share my thoughts and hear yours, as well.
Warm regards,

John

phone-716(523-0207)

e-mail-campaign@votejohndelmonte.com

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Pastor Knew He Had AIDS, Had Affairs

Shiloh church

Rev. Juan D. McFarland has been the pastor of the Shiloh Missionary Baptist Church for the  past 24 years.  He was well-regarded and his congregation loved him.  Things began to change when he addressed them from the very pulpit where he preached about God’s love and service to the community.  He delivered some stunning revelations: He had had affairs with women in the parish — and neglected to tell them he had AIDS.

Perhaps because McFarland was so well-regarded, the church’s deacons initially had sympathy.

The leadership team did not react wanting to get him out. We wanted to get him help,” said James Long, vice chairman of the board of trustees.

McFarland refused — and in a later sermon dropped another bombshell: He had been abusing drugs.

That was enough. The deacons voted 80-1 to fire him on Oct. 5, but McFarland refused to leave, going so far as to change the building’s locks and the numbers of the church’s bank account before returning to the pulpit on Oct. 12, Long said.
Read more…

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Courtenay, I Would Love To See My Meat In Your Mouth.

Courtenay DeHoff
A Kansas City restaurant owner recently served up sexual harassment to a female reporter covering the place’s discounted hamburger menu.

To celebrate the Kansas City Royals’ playoff success, the Westport Flea Market Bar & Grill had rolled back its prices to 1985, the last time the Royals won the World Series.

So KCTV reporter Courtenay DeHoff was on the scene, asking owner Joe Zwillenberg if she could try a burger. To which he responded, “Courtenay, I would love to see my meat in your mouth.”

Outlets went after the owner with relish.

“If there’s one thing anyone who’s in the public eye wants, it’s to be sexually harassed on the job, and luckily for newscasters everywhere creepy-ass people are more than willing to lead the charge,” Jezebel wrote.

And Uproxx sniped, “The burger may cost $2.99 but double entendres are ON THE HOUSE!”

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Italian Nurse Killed as Many as 38 Patients Because They Annoyed Her

Police believe Daniela Poggiali killed up to 38 patients with lethal doses of potassium chloride and may have sedated many more so they wouldn’t disturb her. The 42-year-old nurse once gave laxatives to another nurses’ patient to create extra work for her colleagues, police said.

Police believe Daniela Poggiali  killed up to 38 patients while she worked as a nurse in a Lugo hospital.
Police believe Daniela Poggiali killed up to 38 patients while she worked as a nurse in a Lugo hospital.

A cruel Italian nurse killed as many as 38 patients because she thought they — and their visiting families — were annoying, police said.

Police believe Daniela Poggiali, who worked at a Lugo hospital, killed her victims with hefty doses of potassium chloride and then snapped photos with some of the bodies, Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera reported.

“Poggiali was particularly euphoric and asked me to take a photo next to the corpse,” one of her colleagues told the newspaper, which has been translated from Italian. “I was afraid and intimidated.”

The 42-year-old nurse was arrested last week after police investigated the mysterious death of a 78-year-old patient in April.

The woman died suddenly after coming to the hospital with a routine illness. Tests showed she died with a lethal dose of potassium in her system.

Investigators said the murderous nurse allegedly killed her victims because she thought they — or their visiting loved ones — were annoying.
Investigators said the murderous nurse allegedly killed her victims because she thought they — or their visiting loved ones — were annoying.

That touched off a massive police probe: Investigators found deaths in the hospital increased significantly when Poggiali was on duty.

In the first quarter of 2014, 38 out of her 83 patients died, the newspaper reported. Other nurses had about 10 deaths.

In each instance, police believe the 42-year-old nurse killed to get rid of difficult patients and their demanding families.

When investigators explored more, they found disturbing details.

Police found photos of the 42-year-old nurse with some of the corpses on her cellphone.
Police found photos of the 42-year-old nurse with some of the corpses on her cellphone.

She slipped non-lethal sedatives to some patients so they wouldn’t disturb her, police said, and once gave strong laxatives to a colleague’s patient in a bid to embarrass that person and create more work for the other nurses.

Police found a photo of Poggiali with one of her deceased patients just minutes after the death — she posted it online with the caption “Brrr … mmm … life and death … mmmmmm,” the newspaper reported.

There was allegedly another selfie on her cellphone of her flashing thumbs up next to a different corpse.

Police are investigating all 38 deaths that happened on Poggiali’s watch. At least 10 of those are “very suspicious,” police said.

The 42-year-old is being held in an Italian jail on murder charges.

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Zuckerberg, Wife Donate $25M to CDC for Ebola

Mark Zuckerberg

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and his wife, Priscilla Chan, are donating $25 million to the CDC Foundation to help address the Ebola epidemic.

The money will be used by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Ebola response effort in Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone and elsewhere in the world where Ebola is a threat, the foundation said Tuesday.

The grant follows a $9 million donation made by Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen last month. Zuckerberg and Chan are making the grant from their fund at the nonprofit Silicon Valley Community Foundation.
Read more…

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Ward, as He Departs, Gives Raises to Elections Workers

Dennis Ward

His new nickname is “Mr. Wonderful,” not because he is, but because of the money he passed out to elections workers just before he left his position as Democratic Elections Commissioner.

Just hours before Erie County Deputy Elections Commissioner Arthur O. Eve Jr. headed off to the Sept. 22 nominating convention for State Supreme Court, he attended to one last piece of business with his boss, departing Democratic Elections Commissioner Dennis E. Ward.

Eve’s salary would be raised from $79,115 to $93,101 annually, Ward told him.

That evening, Eve – along with the vast majority of others attending the Democratic judicial nominating convention – voted for a prearranged agreement that granted Ward bipartisan endorsement and virtually guaranteed his election Nov. 4 to State Supreme Court, where he would make $174,000. Several other delegates who belong to Eve’s Unity political organization also voted for Ward.
Read more… (if you can stomach it.)

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Borowitz “Bitz” of News

Andy Borowitz

“Columbus Day is a reminder that America was made great by Americans, like Columbus.” — Rick Perry

I don’t usually agree with Fox News, but they’re right that Ebola and ISIS would never have happened if Obama hadn’t spent all his time on gay marriage and golf.

Until I started watching Fox I had no idea that Ebola is a registered Democrat.

I think if Mitt Romney ran again in 2016 he would do extremely well, except maybe with the 47 percent of the country he told to go fuck themselves in 2012.

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