Fox: Obama Seeks Advice on Establishing Monarchy

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President Barack Obama spent several hours on Monday in a closed-door Oval Office meeting seeking advice on how to establish a monarchy, Fox News reports.

According to Fox, the President peppered his Oval Office guest with detailed questions about the mechanics of setting up a monarchy and was curious about the perks and powers that go along with it.

Obama’s guest advised him that establishing a monarchy would probably require rewriting or even replacing the Constitution, an option that Obama reportedly said would be “difficult, but doable.”

Introducing a note of caution, the guest urged the President to alter the Constitution so that it vested the monarch with genuine power, adding, “You don’t want to wind up being a figurehead who just goes around visiting foreign dignitaries and so forth.”

According to the Fox report, the President came away “intrigued” by the meeting and said he would explore the idea further next week when Congress is on vacation.

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and in other Borowitz Newz ~

Cheney Blasts Terror Report for Lack of Pictures

A torture report seems like Cheney porn.

Bush blasted the CIA torture report without reading it, so I guess he’s still strongly pro-torture and anti-reading.

The degree to which Dick Cheney constantly draws attention to himself makes me wonder if he doesn’t realize he’s a war criminal.

Looking for a way to piss off Obama haters? Post good news on Facebook

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Pope Francis: Church Must Find Ways of Welcoming Divorced Catholics, Gays

Pontiff Addresses Turmoil of 20-Month Papacy in Interview with Argentine Newspaper

Pope Francis acknowledged the discomfort his papacy has caused some groups within the Catholic church.
Pope Francis acknowledged the discomfort his papacy has caused some groups within the Catholic church.

ROME— Pope Francis said the Catholic Church must find ways of welcoming divorced and gay Catholics as part of a yearlong debate by the church’s leadership that has already exposed a split within its ranks.

In an interview with Argentine newspaper La Nación published Sunday, the pontiff addressed the turmoil his 20-month papacy has stirred with more tradition-minded groups in the church, saying it was a “good sign” that there isn’t “hidden mumbling when there is disagreement.”

The pope also announced that a reorganization of the Vatican bureaucracy won’t be completed next year and said he would add visits to both Latin America and Africa to his travel schedule next year.

The comments on gays and divorced Catholics were the pope’s first public remarks since the end of the synod, or meeting of bishops, in October on problems facing the family.
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Dec. 7, 1941 ~ A Day That Will Live in Infamy

Pearl Harbor

The empire of Japan attacked Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7, 1941.  What is now a quiet, peaceful shrine to those who lost their lives that terrible day was hell on earth 73 years ago.

Pearl harbor 2

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Amherst Fracking Ban Update

Anti fracking group

Phil Abramowitz from the attorney’s office said the fracking & fracking waste ban probably won’t be voted on until January.  He said a lot goes on in December and it most likely won’t be voted on this month. What a bummer!

Residents need to keep up the pressure though and if you haven’t called/emailed the Town Board members lately, maybe now is a good time.

The next meeting of the Amherst Against Fracking group will be on Tuesday, January 13, 2015 at 6 p.m. at the Williamsville Library on Main St.

Online petition to ban dangerous fracking & toxic fracking waste in Amherst here:

When an Amherst, NY resident signs the petition, it immediately emails the Town Board!

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Conservatives Praise Antarctic Ice Sheet Melt as Beautiful Expression of Free Market

ANTARCTICA (The Borowitz Report)—A delegation of conservative members of Congress paid a visit to the West Antarctic Ice Sheet melt today to witness firsthand what one of them called “the most beautiful expression of the free market I’ve ever seen.”

The author of that remark, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin), said that he was awestruck after watching gigantic chunks of glacier disintegrate and crash to the sea.

“Every schoolchild in America needs to see this,” he said. “This is the free market at work in the way that God and Ayn Rand intended.”

Rep. Ryan said that watching the now-unstoppable Ice Sheet melt in action reaffirmed his belief in “the glory and might of free-market forces.”

“Now more than ever, I believe that government needs to get out of the way of glaciers,” he said.

Another member of the delegation, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota), decried what she called the “alarmism” surrounding reports of the collapsing Ice Sheet.

“The Ice Sheet melt is only a problem if you live in Antarctica, which, honestly, is a pretty dumb place to live,” she said. “Polar bears live in Antarctica because they have no choice, but we’re not polar bears.”

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Grand Opening of 1811 Comics This Weekend!

1811 Comics

Message From Sweet Jenny’s in the Mill

We want to clear up any confusion about Saturdays events.

All day long there are things happening outside the Mill because its HOLIDAY IN THE VILLAGE! A carousel, horse drawn carriage rides, food for sale, not to mention all the great shopping and restaurants right in the Village on Main Street.

Then at night we have the Tree lighting outside Village Hall (6) and then back to the Mill for selfies with Santa and Reindeer, and of course all the food, fun, and festivities of our shop opening at 7p.m.

The opening of the comic shop has artist, food, beer and wine, arcade games, comics, giveaways, and even Brutus the Barber Beefcake!

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Volunteers Needed to Help Spread the Word About Buffalo-Rochester Bus to Anti-Fracking Rally


Volunteers Needed to Help Spread the Word About Buffalo-Rochester Bus to Anti-Fracking Rally outside of the 2015 S.O.S. Address in Albany, NY. . .

Once again we are approaching the State of the State Address in Albany, NY on Wednesday, January 7th, 2015. Governor Cuomo has announced, and members of his administration have confirmed, that the state’s health review, which he has said his fracking decision hinges on, is set to be completed by the end of the year. This means a decision on fracking itself could come out either soon before or soon after the year’s end.

This news makes it critical that we have the largest presence to date in Albany with a rally outside the State of the State Address letting Governor Cuomo know that we are a united front against not even ONE FRACKING WELL in New York. In the coming weeks, we would like to roll out a #NotOneWell campaign including phone calls to the Governors office, social media storms and a massive recruitment effort to make the State of the State rally the biggest anti-fracking and pro-renewable energy rally in the state’s history.

We have booked a western NY bus that picks people up in Buffalo and Rochester and we need help filling the seats. Bus sign up pages will be up soon at In the mean time, we are looking for phonebank volunteers.

We need to make sure that the Western NY region is represented in Albany & are in need of volunteers to phonebank supporters over the next 4-weeks to help fill up our regional bus. Because phone calls involve a one-on-one connection, it is the best way to engage supporters and generate turnout. Therefore, we are seeking volunteers who can make at least 20 calls (this takes about 30 minutes) to people to tell them about the Buffalo-Rochester bus. A script and instructions will be provided and no previous phonebank experience is necessary. Phonebanking to make this rally the biggest ever is the most productive way to fight fracking without even leaving your home!

Help us sound the alarm against Governor Cuomo approving even one well in the state by making S.O.S. 2015 a huge success! New York does not have second class citizens. No region is fit for fracking and one life harmed or one water source polluted is one too many!

Let Rita Yelda of Food & Water Watch know if you can make some calls & she will send you everything you need (except a phone – haha!): or716.507.2077.

The Facebook event for the SOS Not One Well rally is here:

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Final Call For Leaf Pickup in the Village

Village of Williamsville

Attention: Final call for leaf pickup is Monday, Dec. 8.!

Village crews will be making one final pass through the village for leaf pickup. Leaves must be brought to the edge of the right-of-way near the street by 7 a.m. Monday, Dec. 8.

If you miss this pickup, after that time they must be bagged in a brown paper lawn bag or placed in an empty trash can with the lid off. Neither the bag nor the trash can should weigh more than 65 pounds. These will be picked up with your regular garbage.

Thank you for your cooperation.

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Holiday in the Village

Holiday in the Village 2014

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Obama Signs Order Converting Little-Used Government Building into Housing for Amnestied Immigrants

Signing the order in an Oval Office ceremony, the President said that American taxpayers would finally receive some value for a building that remains empty and unused for much of the year.

“It will be a cause for celebration to see this building filled with people who are excited about making contributions to American society,” he said.

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