Trump’s Calls to Manafort Going Straight to Voice Mail

Satire from The Borowitz Report

Sept. 14, 2018

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump placed “a large number” of phone calls to his former campaign manager Paul Manafort on Friday morning, and all of them went straight to voice mail, White House sources have confirmed.

The sources, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said that the number of voice-mail messages that Trump left for Manafort was somewhere in the range of twelve to three hundred.

Trump reportedly continued to leave messages for Manafort until his mailbox was full, after which Trump hurled his phone across the room, narrowly missing Mike Pence’s head.

Speaking to reporters, the White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, downplayed the significance of Manafort’s failure to pick up after Trump called him several hundred times.

“Phones can be tricky sometimes,” she said. “You saw what happened when he tried to call the President of Mexico.”

While other Administration officials were mum on Manafort’s deal to coöperate with Robert Mueller’s investigation, Trump’s attorney, Rudy Giuliani, said that it was “actually fantastic news,” because “it means I’ll get to be on TV a lot.”

Comments are closed.