Dukakis Announces 2020 Bid: “Everyone Else Is”

Feb. 19, 2019

Satire from The Borowitz Report

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The former Massachusetts governor Michael Dukakis announced on Tuesday morning that he would seek the Democratic nomination for President, declaring, “Everyone else is.”

Explaining his rationale for running, the 1988 Democratic Presidential nominee told reporters, “As everyone else started jumping into the race, I started feeling a little left out.”

Additionally, Dukakis explained, “People have been stopping me on the street and saying that they thought I was already running. So, whatever.”

The former standard-bearer said that before he threw his hat in the ring he paid a courtesy call to the 1984 Democratic nominee, Walter Mondale, to see if he was planning to run.

“I wouldn’t get into the race if Walter was going to do it,” Dukakis said. “This could be his year.”

Mapping out his campaign strategy, Dukakis said that he hoped to offer himself as an alternative to the former senator Gary Hart, who also entered the race today.

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