Endangered Polar Bear Demands Face-to-Face Meeting with Trump

Aug. 13, 2019
Satire from The Borowitz Report

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—One day after the White House took steps to weaken the Endangered Species Act, an irate polar bear has demanded a face-to-face meeting with Donald J. Trump.

The bear, who was described as “livid” by his spokesperson, has already begun his journey from the Arctic to Washington to express his deep dissatisfaction with Trump.

“He has been ravenously hungry because of the destruction of his habitat,” the bear’s spokesperson said. “The latest news about the Endangered Species Act has not improved his mood.”

Although it is unclear whether a one-on-one meeting between Trump and the aggrieved bear will occur, a new poll indicates that a broad majority of Americans would strongly favor such a meeting.

The White House has, so far, issued no response to the bear’s request, but the Vice-President, Mike Pence, has already refused a one-on-one meeting with a female polar bear.

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